Where every click is a journey and every impression counts.
A marketing campaign that runs continuously rather than in sporadic bursts, like a retail store that never closes or that friend who won't stop texting. Designed to maintain constant brand presence without the panic of starting and stopping.
Return On Ad Spend, a metric that tells you how many dollars you made for every dollar spent on advertising. It sounds simple until you realize the attribution model is held together with duct tape and wishful thinking.
A fancy way of saying people have heard of you, which is basically the corporate equivalent of being popular in high school. Companies spend millions achieving it, only to realize awareness doesn't mean people actually like you.
An unconventional marketing strategy that relies on surprise and creativity because you can't afford a Super Bowl ad. It's the marketing equivalent of a flash mob: sometimes brilliant, often embarrassing, and always making the legal team nervous.
The process of finding people who might want to buy your stuff, which mostly involves bribing strangers with free ebooks in exchange for their email addresses. It's essentially the corporate version of trick-or-treating, but you're the one handing out candy.
The corporate rebranding of "making stuff up to sell things," now elevated to an art form at marketing conferences worldwide. Every brand now has a story, even if that story is just "we sell soap" wrapped in 3,000 words of emotional manipulation.
A machine learning approach that constantly explores new options while exploiting what currently works—basically A/B testing on steroids with mathematical justification.
The intangible value of a brand name that makes people pay $5 for a coffee they could make at home for 30 cents. It's basically the financial measurement of how successfully you've brainwashed the public into thinking your logo means something.
A person with a large social media following who gets paid to pretend they organically discovered your protein powder. The modern equivalent of a billboard, except billboards don't have existential crises about their engagement rates.
A performance-based model where third parties earn commissions for driving sales, creating an army of motivated salespeople who work for free until they succeed. It's outsourcing your sales force to anyone with a website and no shame.
A brand attribute, message, or positioning unique enough that competitors can't easily copy it. The marketing equivalent of a defensible moat, but made of adjectives.
Search Engine Optimization, the dark art of convincing Google your website deserves to be on page one. It involves a mixture of keyword stuffing, backlink begging, and praying that Google's latest algorithm update doesn't send your traffic back to the Stone Age.
The total revenue a business expects from a single customer account over the entire relationship duration. It's how marketers justify spending $200 to acquire a customer who buys a $15 subscription.
Headlines designed to be so irresistibly intriguing that you click before your brain can stop you. "You won't believe what happened next" is the marketing equivalent of dangling a laser pointer in front of a cat, and we all fall for it every single time.
The marketing world's favorite meaningless word, covering everything from a like to a share to someone rage-commenting on your post. High engagement can mean people love you or that you've accidentally started a flame war, and marketers celebrate both equally.
A fake bid in programmatic auctions designed to artificially inflate prices without intent to win. The ad tech equivalent of sending your friend to bid up prices at an estate sale.
A group of strangers that Facebook's algorithm thinks are similar to your existing customers, based on the terrifying amount of data it has on everyone. It's digital matchmaking, except instead of finding you a date, it finds people equally likely to buy your yoga mat.
A standalone web page created specifically for a marketing campaign, stripped of all navigation to trap visitors into a single call-to-action like mice in a very polite maze. It's where conversion optimization goes to either triumph or die trying.
Marketing that sells customers not what they are, but what they desperately want to become—thinner, richer, cooler, or at least someone who owns a Peloton. It's the advertising equivalent of a vision board.
The deliberate repetition of initial consonant sounds in neighboring words—a linguistic technique that makes marketing messages memorable, melodious, and occasionally, mercifully minimalist.
The final stage of the marketing funnel where prospects are ready to make a purchase decision. Abbreviated BOFU, it's where marketing hands leads to sales and both teams blame each other when nothing converts.
A high-impact ad buy where a brand dominates all advertising placements on a website, app, or platform for a set period. The digital equivalent of a hostile acquisition, but temporary.
Advertising where you only pay when a specific action occurs—clicks, leads, sales—rather than just hoping brand awareness somehow translates to revenue. It's marketing for people who believe in accountability, or at least pretend to.
Cost Per Click, or the exact dollar amount you pay every time someone accidentally taps your ad while trying to close it. It's like putting a coin jar next to a door handle and charging people for touching it on their way out.