Jargon definitions, generation, and translation. Because language should be confusing.
parent over shoulder
Generate buzzwords and corporate speak on demand.
Transform plain English into corporate, Gen-Z, or academic speak.
The practice of positioning yourself as an expert by posting obvious observations on LinkedIn with the confidence of someone discovering fire. It's how CEOs turn shower thoughts into 47-slide decks and speaking engagements.
The mystical force that supposedly occurs when two mediocre departments combine to form one mega-mediocre department. Often invoked to justify mergers that benefit exactly no one on the ground floor.
Cost Per Mille, meaning cost per thousand impressions, because apparently saying per thousand wasn't pretentious enough so they used Latin. You pay for a thousand eyeballs to theoretically see your ad while actually staring at their phone during a meeting.
The accounting practice of acknowledging that everything you own is slowly becoming worthless, which is depressing when applied to assets and relatable when applied to your car. It's basically writing a slow obituary for office furniture.
A tax deduction that allows businesses to subtract expenses from their taxable income, famously misunderstood by everyone thanks to that one Seinfeld episode. Half the population thinks a write-off means something is free, which keeps accountants employed correcting people at parties.
To do something exceptionally well, to absolutely crush it, to dominate with style and confidence. Originally from ballroom culture, it's now used for everything from a perfect outfit to successfully parallel parking. The bar is wherever you need it to be.