Segmentation

Definition

The practice of dividing your audience into groups based on shared characteristics so you can send them slightly different versions of the same spam. It makes marketers feel like scientists even though most segments end up being "people who bought stuff" and "people who didn't."

Example Usage

"After extensive segmentation analysis, we've identified two key audiences: people with money and people without. Groundbreaking insights, really."

Related Terms

Intermediate

rhetoric

The art of persuasive speaking or writing, or alternatively, inflated language designed to impress rather than inform. Politicians and marketers have elevated rhetoric to a professional sport where style matters more than substance. When someone says "that's just rhetoric," they mean "that sounds impressive but means absolutely nothing."

📣 Marketing / Advertising

Beginner

relabel

The business equivalent of putting a new sticker over the old one—whether you're rebranding a product, reorganizing files, or giving a failed initiative a fresh name to try again. In tech, it's reassigning labels in databases or systems; in marketing, it's how last quarter's disaster becomes this quarter's 'learning opportunity.' Same thing, better branding.

📣 Marketing / Advertising

Beginner

cost per thousand

The cost to deliver 1,000 ad impressions, abbreviated as CPM where 'M' is the Roman numeral for 1,000 because marketing loves needlessly confusing acronyms. It's the pricing model that treats eyeballs as commodities.

📣 Marketing / Advertising

Intermediate

brand affinity

The emotional connection and loyalty consumers feel toward a brand beyond rational product attributes. It's when people buy your overpriced product because they've developed feelings for a corporation, which should concern everyone.

📣 Marketing / Advertising

Intermediate

viewability

A metric indicating whether an ad actually appeared on someone's screen or was technically served but never seen, like a tree falling in the forest but the forest is a webpage and the tree costs $50 CPM. Industry standard: 50% of pixels visible for one second.

📣 Marketing / Advertising

Intermediate

SERP

Search Engine Results Page, the digital battlefield where websites fight for the top position like gladiators in a colosseum run by Google. The first page is prime real estate, and the second page is where websites go to die in obscurity.

📣 Marketing / Advertising

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