Where every click is a journey and every impression counts.
A desperate attempt to apply software development's agile methodology to marketing because someone read one book and thought iterations could solve everything.
A customer segmentation method analyzing when someone last purchased, how often they purchase, and how much they spend. Abbreviated as RFM, it's the scorecard that determines whether you get the good coupons or the desperate ones.
The gradual decline in organic reach and user experience as social platforms prioritize paid content and algorithmic feeds over chronological ones. The inevitable enshittification of your favorite channel.
The deliberate repetition of initial consonant sounds in neighboring words—a linguistic technique that makes marketing messages memorable, melodious, and occasionally, mercifully minimalist.
Tailoring content, offers, and experiences to individual users based on their behavior, preferences, and data. It's the art of making customers feel special while using algorithms.
A targeted marketing effort attempting to re-engage customers who've stopped buying, typically through discounts and guilt-inducing subject lines like 'We miss you.' It's the commercial equivalent of texting your ex at 2am.
The expensive corporate ritual of slapping a new coat of paint on your company's image when the old one becomes toxic, outdated, or just boring to the marketing team. This typically involves burning millions on consultants to create a 'fresh' logo that looks suspiciously like the old one, followed by forcing everyone to pretend the company is fundamentally different now. It's basically witness protection for businesses, except everyone still remembers what you did.
A fictional representation of your ideal customer, complete with a name, photo, and backstory, created to help marketers remember they're selling to humans and not just demographic data. It's imaginary friends for adults with marketing budgets.
Using natural language processing to determine whether customer feedback, social mentions, or reviews express positive, negative, or neutral opinions about your brand. It's teaching computers to detect sarcasm, which goes about as well as you'd expect.
Your digital shopping cart's prettier older sibling—a holding area where your soon-to-be regretted purchases wait patiently before you commit to the transaction. Also a metaphor for grouping related things together.
An advertising concept that looks beautiful and timeless in the boardroom but is completely impractical for actual implementation. Named after objects better suited for museums than utility.
A hidden message, inside joke, or subtle reference embedded in marketing materials or products that rewards attentive audiences. The marketing team's way of entertaining themselves.
A mathematical framework for assigning credit to various marketing touchpoints that led to a conversion, because apparently one person needs to get the glory even when seventeen different campaigns were involved. Think of it as the participation trophy debate of digital marketing.
Buying all available ad placements across a platform or time period to dominate visibility and prevent competitor messaging. Subtle as a highway billboard collision.
The total revenue a business expects from a single customer account over the entire relationship duration. It's how marketers justify spending $200 to acquire a customer who buys a $15 subscription.
How often something occurs within a given time period, whether that's radio waves oscillating, ad impressions served, or your project manager asking for status updates. In physics, it's measured in Hertz; in marketing, it's how many times your target audience sees your ad before they start actively hating you. The sweet spot between "who are you?" and "please make it stop."
Marketing yourself as environmentally friendly while your actual practices range from negligible to actively harmful, sustainability theater at its finest. It's slapping a leaf logo on your product while dumping toxic waste out back.
In marketing, a magical word that justifies charging triple the price for produce that bugs have nibbled on. Organic growth or reach means you didn't pay for it directly, making it the social media equivalent of 'all-natural' or 'chemical-free.' When used in digital marketing, it means your content succeeded without ad spend, which is about as rare as finding actual organic products in a regular supermarket.
A prospect who's been vetted by marketing, kicked over to sales, and deemed worthy of actual human attention rather than automated email sequences. Abbreviated as SQL, which confusingly has nothing to do with databases.
Technology that automatically assembles personalized ads from various creative components based on user data, serving different headlines, images, and calls-to-action to different people. Mass customization meets surveillance capitalism in a beautiful, algorithmically-optimized dance.
The practice of scheduling ads or content to run during specific times of day when target audiences are most active. Because showing cereal ads at 3 AM is generally suboptimal.
Visual banner ads served across websites and apps, ranging from tasteful rectangles to screen-dominating monstrosities that make you question humanity. The descendants of magazine ads, but with the added benefit of following you everywhere online.
Cutting out the middleman by selling directly to consumers, which sounds great until you realize middlemen existed because direct sales are expensive.
A customer account that's technically active but generates no revenue or engagement, cluttering your metrics like digital dead weight. They're not users, they're ghosts.