Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
When a company buys a failing startup primarily for its talent, with the product being immediately shut down. A face-saving exit that's really just an expensive recruiting strategy with better PR.
A provision that speeds up the vesting of unvested equity upon specific events like acquisition or termination. It's the golden parachute for startup employees who might otherwise get screwed by good news.
The formal demand from a general partner to limited partners to wire their committed funds, usually with 10-30 days notice and an implied "or else" hanging in the air. It's how venture funds move committed money from promised to deployed.
The sadistic waiting period before any of your stock options actually belong to you, typically one year. It's designed to prevent you from taking the job and immediately quitting, essentially holding your compensation hostage for good behavior.
A single slide in a pitch deck, often discussing one specific aspect of the business in vague, aspirational terms.
The danger that passing on an investment or accepting certain terms sends negative messages to future investors. In VC, optics matter as much as economics—sometimes you reject money because taking it would look desperate.
Late-stage debt or hybrid securities used to bridge the gap between venture rounds and an exit. It's called mezzanine because it sits between the ground floor (equity) and penthouse (IPO).
The maximum valuation at which a convertible note or SAFE will convert to equity—a safety net for early investors betting on you when you were nobody. The lower the cap, the more expensive your desperation was.
A referral to an investor through a trusted mutual connection, as opposed to cold outreach. The difference between getting a response and having your email automatically archived.
A financing so dilutive that existing shareholders are essentially wiped out, often following multiple bridge rounds and broken promises. The financial equivalent of starting over but with more emotional baggage.
An experienced executive or advisor brought into a startup to add operational credibility and grown-up supervision to a young founding team. Think adult daycare, but for unicorn hopefuls.
Money given to startups by firms who expect most of their investments to fail spectacularly, banking on one unicorn to pay for all the donkeys. VCs will fund almost anything if you put AI in the pitch deck and promise to disrupt something.
The right to participate in future financing rounds to maintain ownership percentage, preventing dilution through passive-aggressive legal provisions. Pro rata rights by another name, somehow more intimidating.
A sales or fundraising strategy focused exclusively on landing enormous clients or investors rather than building up smaller ones. It's high-risk, high-reward betting where you either feast or starve.
When a startup gets stuck endlessly perfecting their product demo instead of actually selling to customers or raising funds. It's the entrepreneurial version of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
An experienced entrepreneur or advisor, typically older, who's seen multiple technology cycles and startup failures. They provide wisdom, pattern recognition, and constant reminders that everything has been tried before.
A chair at the table where actual company decisions get made, typically negotiated by lead investors who want control over their millions. Where strategy is debated, CEOs are fired, and founders learn they don't actually run their company alone.
Phantom stock or profit interests that mimic real equity without actually granting ownership, often used to incentivize employees without diluting founders. All the motivation, none of the control.
Unsolicited outreach to investors or customers who have no idea who you are and probably don't care. The digital equivalent of knocking on strangers' doors, with similar success rates.
Any transaction that transfers majority ownership or control of a company, typically triggering various contractual provisions like vesting acceleration, payment obligations, or approval rights. The legal definition of when your startup stops being yours.
In startup-land, it's the art of nursing a half-baked business idea in a controlled environment with free coffee and ping-pong tables until it either hatches into a unicorn or expires quietly. Literally borrowed from the egg-warming business, because apparently founders need the same level of coddling as baby chickens. This metaphorical brooding period involves providing ideal conditions (mentorship, funding, ramen) while the startup grows its feathers.
An overflowing supply of something (capital, resources, talent) that theoretically makes life easier but usually just creates new problems and decision paralysis.
A provision allowing limited partners to reclaim previously distributed carried interest from GPs if later losses reduce overall fund returns. The nightmare scenario keeping fund managers up at night.
What investors claim your company is worth before they invest—a number that's actually meaningless but gets thrown around in press releases. Add the investment amount to get post-money, which is what your ownership percentage is actually based on.