Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
Your master plan for how you'll actually convince humans to exchange money for your product, typically involving buzzwords like 'omnichannel' and 'vertical integration.' It's the section of your pitch deck you update most frequently as each approach fails.
Protective clauses that let early investors maintain their ownership percentage when future rounds price lower, punishing founders for failing to maintain perpetual hockey stick growth. Comes in weighted-average and full-ratchet flavors of pain.
Late-stage debt or hybrid securities used to bridge the gap between venture rounds and an exit. It's called mezzanine because it sits between the ground floor (equity) and penthouse (IPO).
Money given to startups by firms who expect most of their investments to fail spectacularly, banking on one unicorn to pay for all the donkeys. VCs will fund almost anything if you put AI in the pitch deck and promise to disrupt something.
Any transaction that transfers majority ownership or control of a company, typically triggering various contractual provisions like vesting acceleration, payment obligations, or approval rights. The legal definition of when your startup stops being yours.
A financing round where new investors impose unfavorable terms on existing shareholders who lack the power to block it. Essentially a hostile takeover by people already inside your building.
Equity allocated to former employees, advisors, or early team members who are no longer contributing to the company but still own shares. It's the corporate equivalent of paying rent for a ghost tenant.
When a startup gets stuck endlessly perfecting their product demo instead of actually selling to customers or raising funds. It's the entrepreneurial version of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
A company that owns and controls every layer of its product or service delivery, from manufacturing to customer experience, rather than relying on existing infrastructure or platforms. It's vertical integration for the startup age.
An experienced executive or advisor brought into a startup to add operational credibility and grown-up supervision to a young founding team. Think adult daycare, but for unicorn hopefuls.
A clause ensuring investors get their money back first when the company sells or dies—like having a reserved lifeboat while founders and employees fight over pool floaties. Can be 1x (reasonable) or 3x (predatory).
A startup that returns an entire venture fund's value through a single investment, making every other deal in the portfolio irrelevant. Rarer than unicorns and more impactful than a hundred modest successes combined.
The impossible choice between maintaining control of your company and maximizing its financial value, first articulated by Harvard's Noam Wasserman. You can be rich or you can be king, but probably not both.
Sequential institutional funding rounds designated by letters, theoretically indicating maturity but practically just measuring how much money you've convinced people to give you. The alphabet of ambition.
A provision that speeds up the vesting of unvested equity upon specific events like acquisition or termination. It's the golden parachute for startup employees who might otherwise get screwed by good news.
The sadistic waiting period before any of your stock options actually belong to you, typically one year. It's designed to prevent you from taking the job and immediately quitting, essentially holding your compensation hostage for good behavior.
The maximum valuation at which a convertible note or SAFE will convert to equity—a safety net for early investors betting on you when you were nobody. The lower the cap, the more expensive your desperation was.
What investors claim your company is worth before they invest—a number that's actually meaningless but gets thrown around in press releases. Add the investment amount to get post-money, which is what your ownership percentage is actually based on.
The right to participate in future financing rounds to maintain ownership percentage, preventing dilution through passive-aggressive legal provisions. Pro rata rights by another name, somehow more intimidating.
IRS tax designation (Section 1202) that can exclude up to $10 million in gains from federal taxes for early startup investors, assuming you navigate the Byzantine requirements. The tax break that makes angel investing slightly less insane.
Past tense of churning, describing customers who've abandoned ship or accounts that have been excessively traded for commissions. In the startup world, it's the past tense of failure—these are the users who tried your product and decided literally anything else was better. When your investors ask about churned customers, it's never a fun conversation.
Legal promises in investment agreements where founders swear everything they've said is true and the company isn't hiding skeletons. Breaking these can result in personal liability, making due diligence the most stressful time to discover that intern you hired in 2019 never signed an IP assignment.
A sales or fundraising strategy focused exclusively on landing enormous clients or investors rather than building up smaller ones. It's high-risk, high-reward betting where you either feast or starve.
Company valuation after investment capital is added, the number founders brag about while carefully omitting the 'post-money' qualifier. What your company is theoretically worth with someone else's money included.