churned

Definition

Past tense of churning, describing customers who've abandoned ship or accounts that have been excessively traded for commissions. In the startup world, it's the past tense of failure—these are the users who tried your product and decided literally anything else was better. When your investors ask about churned customers, it's never a fun conversation.

Example Usage

We churned 500 users last month after they discovered our 'unlimited' plan had very specific limits buried in the terms of service.

Source: Business terminology

Related Terms

Intermediate

flat round

A financing round raised at the same valuation as the previous round, suggesting a company has neither advanced nor declined—essentially treading water while burning cash. More diplomatically acceptable than a down round but almost as concerning to investors.

🚀 Startup / VC

Intermediate

proprietary deal

An investment opportunity sourced exclusively by one firm rather than through competitive process. The venture capital equivalent of finding $20 in your coat pocket—rare, lucky, and probably won't happen again.

🚀 Startup / VC

Intermediate

runway fumes

The terrifying state of having mere weeks of cash remaining, when every expense is scrutinized and founders start drafting layoff announcements. The financial equivalent of flying on empty while the engine sputters.

🚀 Startup / VC

Intermediate

diluted

The soul-crushing moment when a founder's ownership percentage shrinks because the company issued more shares to new investors. It's weaker coffee, but for equity—you still own shares, they're just worth relatively less of the pie. Every funding round brings this special joy, where you simultaneously celebrate getting money and mourn losing control.

🚀 Startup / VC

Intermediate

prospectus

The glossy sales document that makes every investment opportunity look like the next Amazon and every university look like Hogwarts, carefully balanced between legal obligation and marketing fantasy. In startup land, it's the formal document that transforms 'three guys in a garage with an app idea' into 'disruptive technology platform poised for exponential growth.' Every prospectus contains enough disclaimers to absolve everyone of everything while somehow still convincing you to hand over your money.

🚀 Startup / VC

Advanced

no-shop clause

A provision preventing startups from soliciting other offers while negotiating terms, ensuring you can't play investors against each other. The dating equivalent of 'we're exclusive now' after one coffee.

🚀 Startup / VC

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