Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A wealthy individual who gives money to startups in exchange for equity and the warm feeling of watching their investment evaporate. They're called angels because they appear from heaven with cash and then watch helplessly as you fly straight into the ground.
A fixed-term program that accelerates startup growth through mentorship, resources, and the crushing pressure of a demo day deadline. It's like a pressure cooker for companies -- some come out perfectly cooked, and some just explode.
Annual Recurring Revenue -- the amount of subscription money a company expects to collect over a year, assuming nobody cancels, which they will. It's the startup metric most likely to appear in fundraising decks and least likely to match reality.
When a company buys another company not for its product but for its employees, which is the corporate equivalent of buying a house just for the kitchen. The product gets quietly killed while the team gets quietly absorbed and quietly regrets everything.
When a company acquires a startup primarily to shut it down and eliminate competition, rather than to integrate talent or technology. It's the evil twin of acqui-hire where everyone loses except the shareholders.
When a company buys a failing startup primarily for its talent, with the product being immediately shut down. A face-saving exit that's really just an expensive recruiting strategy with better PR.
A wealthy individual who invests their own money in early-stage startups, typically because they're either bored with normal investments or enjoy the thrill of watching their cash evaporate in creative ways. These financial guardian spirits usually write checks between $25K and $100K in exchange for equity, mentorship duties they may or may not fulfill, and the right to say 'I invested in that' at cocktail parties. They're called angels because founders pray for them, not because they're particularly heavenly.
A clause protecting investors from getting screwed when a company raises money at a lower valuation, automatically giving them more shares to maintain their investment value. Founders hate it; investors demand it.
The phenomenon where the worst investment opportunities are most aggressively marketed to investors, while the best deals are oversubscribed and hard to access. If they're begging you to invest, run.
The first major investor who commits to a fund or round, giving others confidence to follow. Like the first person to dance at a party—everyone was waiting for someone brave (or drunk) enough to start.
Someone who receives equity for occasionally responding to emails and allowing you to use their name on your website. The advisor-to-impact ratio is the lowest in all of business, yet every startup has seven of them.
Protective clauses that let early investors maintain their ownership percentage when future rounds price lower, punishing founders for failing to maintain perpetual hockey stick growth. Comes in weighted-average and full-ratchet flavors of pain.
A provision that speeds up the vesting of unvested equity upon specific events like acquisition or termination. It's the golden parachute for startup employees who might otherwise get screwed by good news.