Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A financing round where new investors impose harsh terms on existing shareholders who lack the votes to block it. It's democracy in action, if democracy meant 'whoever has the most money wins.'
A venture fund structure where capital commitments are made quarterly rather than in one large closing, allowing GPs to start investing immediately. The subscription model comes to venture capital.
A marketing term VCs use to describe their approach, supposedly indicating fair terms and supportive behavior. In practice, it often means 'we won't screw you quite as hard as the other guys.'
The phenomenon where the worst investment opportunities are most aggressively marketed to investors, while the best deals are oversubscribed and hard to access. If they're begging you to invest, run.
A startup fundraising round with overwhelming investor demand, usually led by a top-tier firm with multiple others fighting for allocation. The velvet rope nightclub of venture capital.
Term sheet provisions where investor rights decrease as the company hits performance milestones. A way to say 'we trust you more as you prove you're not incompetent.'
Loans provided to venture-backed startups, typically secured by assets or future funding rounds. It's called 'non-dilutive capital,' which really means 'you'll dilute yourself later when you can't pay it back.'
A schedule requiring founders to earn their equity over time, typically 4 years with a 1-year cliff. The investor-imposed acknowledgment that founding a company doesn't mean you'll stick around to build it.
The privilege to attend board meetings without voting power, typically granted to smaller investors or advisors. All the tedious meetings with none of the actual authority—basically a corporate internship.
An investment opportunity sourced exclusively by one firm rather than through competitive process. The venture capital equivalent of finding $20 in your coat pocket—rare, lucky, and probably won't happen again.
The exhaustion investors feel after reviewing hundreds of pitch decks that all blur together with the same buzzwords and hockey stick projections. It's why your 'revolutionary AI blockchain solution' makes their eyes glaze over.
An entrepreneur driven primarily by solving a problem or advancing a cause rather than financial gain. They're the idealists who actually believe their mission statement.
When VCs make investment decisions based on superficial similarities to previous successful startups rather than rigorous analysis. It's why they love Stanford dropouts building social apps in their dorm rooms.
The AARRR framework measuring Acquisition, Activation, Retention, Referral, and Revenue—the key metrics for growth-stage startups. Named because AARRR sounds like a pirate, which is somehow still funny to founders.
The phase when a startup has proven product-market fit and focuses on scaling revenue, typically raising Series B or C funding. Where dreams of changing the world meet the reality of quarterly revenue targets.
A contractual restriction preventing insiders from selling shares after an IPO, typically 90-180 days. Because letting founders dump all their stock on day one would be honest but catastrophic for stock price.
Investment structured to release capital in tranches as the company hits specific targets, giving investors control and founders ulcers. Trust, but verify, but mostly don't trust.
The romanticized art of starting businesses, taking risks, and pretending to enjoy working 80-hour weeks for the slim chance of eventual success. It's capitalism's version of the hero's journey, complete with failure, redemption arcs, and way too many LinkedIn posts about "grinding." Business schools teach it, VCs fund it, and most people quit it within three years.
A glamorized term for someone who decided that working for themselves would be less stressful than having a boss (spoiler: they were wrong). These brave or foolish souls start their own ventures, risking everything from savings to sanity in pursuit of the dream of being their own boss and working only 80 hours a week instead of 40. Every LinkedIn bio now includes this word because 'unemployed but optimistic' doesn't have the same ring to it.
The return of capital to limited partners when a fund exits an investment, either as cash or occasionally as stock, representing the magical moment when paper gains become real money. The VC equivalent of actually getting your lottery winnings instead of just holding a ticket.
Any transaction that transfers majority ownership or control of a company, typically triggering various contractual provisions like vesting acceleration, payment obligations, or approval rights. The legal definition of when your startup stops being yours.
A venture capital firm that's functionally dead but still managing old funds, unable to raise new capital but too undead to fully shut down. They're not investing in new companies but still collecting management fees from their limited partners.
A structural competitive edge that's difficult or impossible for competitors to replicate, like proprietary technology, exclusive partnerships, or regulatory capture. What founders claim to have and what actually exists rarely overlap perfectly.
The handful of key performance indicators that actually determine business health versus the vanity metrics founders cite in pitch meetings. Revenue and retention versus social media followers and press mentions.