Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
Financial projections showing what a company's metrics would look like under hypothetical conditions or future scenarios. Latin for 'as a matter of form,' startup-ese for 'this is the fantasy we're selling investors.'
The minimum return a VC fund must achieve before partners can collect carried interest—usually 8% annually. The bar LPs set to ensure their capital at least beats a boring index fund before the GP gets rich.
A marketing term VCs use to describe their approach, supposedly indicating fair terms and supportive behavior. In practice, it often means 'we won't screw you quite as hard as the other guys.'
An investment opportunity sourced exclusively by one firm rather than through competitive process. The venture capital equivalent of finding $20 in your coat pocket—rare, lucky, and probably won't happen again.
The modern equivalent of passing the hat, except the hat is a slick website and you're asking thousands of strangers on the internet to fund your dream project, questionable invention, or potato salad. It's democratized investing meets collective optimism meets occasional fraud.
An entrepreneur who returns to start another company after their previous venture was acquired or failed. They're either gluttons for punishment or genuinely addicted to the startup lifestyle.
A funding round that attracts investors primarily because a prestigious VC or strategic investor has already committed, rather than on the company's standalone merits. One famous name creates a stampede of followers.
Verbal commitments from investors to participate in a round that aren't legally binding, giving founders a sense of momentum that may evaporate when term sheets arrive. It's Schrödinger's capital raise.
Customer Acquisition Cost—how much you spend in sales and marketing to land one customer. VCs compare this to lifetime value to determine if your business model is actually viable or just an expensive hobby.
Revenue minus cost of goods sold, expressed as a percentage—the fundamental measure of whether your business model makes sense before accounting for all those pesky operating expenses. VCs want this above 70% for SaaS.
Actions taken to make existing capital last longer, typically through cost-cutting, down-rounds, or revenue generation—whatever keeps you alive until the next funding round. Financial life support for startups.
The soul-crushing moment when a startup issues new shares, and existing shareholders watch their ownership percentage shrink faster than a wool sweater in a hot dryer. While you still own the same number of shares, you now own a smaller slice of the pie—assuming the company actually grows enough to justify the dilution. It's the price founders pay for other people's money, and the reason early employees cry into their vested options.
A PowerPoint presentation optimized for skimming, typically 10-15 slides explaining why your startup will change the world and only needs $2M to do it. It's fiction dressed up as financial projections.
An organizational dysfunction where the loudest voice wins every argument, regardless of actual merit or logic. Common in toxic startups and poorly-managed teams where decibel level is somehow confused with leadership ability, ensuring the best ideas often die in quiet corners while mediocre ones get screamed into existence.
Excess stock options or debt that will dilute existing shareholders, hanging over the cap table like a financial storm cloud. Future pain that everyone pretends isn't there.
An investment strategy of making many small bets across a wide portfolio, hoping a few massive winners will compensate for numerous failures—essentially portfolio construction as gambling. The scatter-shot approach favored by funds who believe they can't predict winners.
The first real money a startup receives from external investors, typically ranging from $500K to $2M, given in exchange for equity to entrepreneurs brave (or delusional) enough to think their idea will change the world. This is the stage where your pitch deck matters more than your product, and your co-founder's LinkedIn connections matter more than your revenue. Named 'seed' because most of these investments will never grow into anything, much like actual seeds.
Optimistic individuals who voluntarily choose unemployment with extra steps, convincing themselves that working 80 hours a week for no salary is better than working 40 hours for someone else. They're essentially professional risk-takers who transform caffeine and delusion into businesses, with a success rate that would make a Vegas gambler nervous. Society celebrates them when they succeed and conveniently forgets them when they fail.
The degree to which a founder's background, skills, and experience uniquely position them to solve a particular problem. The startup equivalent of being born for this moment, or at least having a plausible narrative for why you were.
Contract provisions allowing investors to force the company to buy back their shares after a certain period, typically if there's no exit. A rarely exercised nuclear option that reminds founders who really has the power.
Fake stock that feels like ownership but isn't, giving employees the illusion of having skin in the game without actual legal rights. It's participation trophy capitalism.
A deferred payment structure in an acquisition where sellers receive additional money only if the business hits specific milestones post-sale. It's how acquirers say 'we believe your projections!' while quietly not paying for them upfront.
An introduction to an investor or customer through a mutual connection, vastly more effective than cold outreach. The difference between your email being read and being instantly deleted by an EA.
A pejorative term for investors who swoop in during distressed situations to extract maximum value at founders' expense. The same people who call themselves 'value investors' on their websites.