Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A venture fund typically under $50M that invests small checks in very early-stage startups. They offer founder-friendly terms and actual attention, mainly because they can't afford fancy offices or ignore their investments.
An operating style where founders maintain deep involvement in company details rather than delegating everything to managers. Popularized by Paul Graham as a counterpoint to conventional management wisdom that says CEOs should stay hands-off.
A spreadsheet model showing how acquisition proceeds flow to different shareholders based on liquidation preferences and other terms—usually revealing that founders get far less than their ownership percentage suggests. It's where equity dreams go to die.
A PowerPoint presentation optimized for skimming, typically 10-15 slides explaining why your startup will change the world and only needs $2M to do it. It's fiction dressed up as financial projections.
A company culture claiming to make decisions based on data analysis rather than gut feeling, though which metrics get measured mysteriously align with what leadership already wanted to do. It's astrology for MBAs.
Restructuring that gives early investors and employees liquidity without selling the company, like a pressure release valve for cap table tension. An exit without the exit.
The return of capital to limited partners when a fund exits an investment, either as cash or occasionally as stock, representing the magical moment when paper gains become real money. The VC equivalent of actually getting your lottery winnings instead of just holding a ticket.
The magical realm where scientists play God with DNA and investors play roulette with their portfolios. Short for biotechnology, it's the industry that promises to cure cancer, extend your lifespan, and justify obscene R&D budgets—all while burning through cash faster than a lab incinerator. Whether it's CRISPR gene editing or synthetic biology, biotech is where biology meets business and hope meets hype.
A structural competitive edge that's difficult or impossible for competitors to replicate, like proprietary technology, exclusive partnerships, or regulatory capture. What founders claim to have and what actually exists rarely overlap perfectly.
The percentage of a VC fund's investments that return zero, typically 50-70% despite everyone's confident pitches. The number partners don't mention at LP meetings unless forced.
A startup incubator or accelerator where fledgling companies are artificially nurtured in batches, given standardized advice, and released into the wild to either soar or become someone's acqui-hire. Like its fish farm counterpart, success depends on carefully controlled conditions, periodic feeding (of capital), and accepting that most won't make it to maturity. The industrial approach to entrepreneurship for founders who enjoy being treated like salmon.
A provision that adjusts an investor's ownership if future funding rounds happen at lower valuations. Basically a rich person's insurance policy.
A punitive clause forcing existing investors to participate in future rounds or lose their special privileges—the venture capital equivalent of 'put up or shut up.' Popular after market downturns when companies need to separate real believers from fair-weather friends.
A clause letting preferred investors double-dip by getting their liquidation preference back AND participating in the remaining proceeds with common shareholders. It's having your cake, eating it too, and taking a slice of everyone else's.
The VC who actually makes investment decisions and sits on boards, bearing unlimited liability but collecting management fees and carried interest. The person founders pitch to, hoping they're in a good mood.
The internal practice at VC firms of writing detailed investment memos that analyze potential deals. Where partners commit their hottest takes to writing so they can be mocked later when wrong.
A VC's strong belief in an investment thesis despite contrary evidence or market skepticism. The confidence to write a check when everyone else thinks you're insane—sometimes brilliance, often delusion.
A delightfully depressing portmanteau describing the growing army of hustlers who call themselves entrepreneurs but are really just unemployed people with a business card and a prayer. These brave souls combine the precarious instability of gig work with the delusion of startup success, making "founder" sound way better than "between opportunities." Welcome to late-stage capitalism's participation trophy.
A resilient company that survives on minimal resources and refuses to die despite market conditions that would kill competitors. They're scrappy, resourceful, and nearly impossible to eliminate.
Venture funds started by former Tiger Global partners or investors, inheriting their aggressive growth-at-all-costs investment philosophy. They're the offspring that learned well from their parent's playbook.
The corporate buzzword for 'doing something new' that appears in every mission statement and keynote presentation. To innovate is to revolutionize or introduce novelty, though in practice it often means adding an app to something that worked fine without one. Companies that claim to innovate daily are usually just iterating on someone else's idea with a slightly different shade of blue.
Lifetime Value—the total revenue a customer generates before churning, which you compare against acquisition cost to pretend your business makes sense. Usually wildly optimistic because it assumes customers stick around forever.
Investment structured to release capital in tranches as the company hits specific targets, giving investors control and founders ulcers. Trust, but verify, but mostly don't trust.
The person you start a company with based on four hours of friendship and mutual delusion, who will become either your closest ally or your most expensive breakup. Dating is easier than finding a compatible co-founder.