Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
Restructuring that gives early investors and employees liquidity without selling the company, like a pressure release valve for cap table tension. An exit without the exit.
The most aggressive anti-dilution protection where early investors' conversion price adjusts to match a down round price, regardless of how small the down round is. Financial punishment for daring to need more money.
Services and resources VC firms provide beyond capital, such as recruiting help, PR support, or customer introductions. Marketing speak that ranges from genuinely useful to completely fictional.
Capital set aside by a VC fund to support existing portfolio companies in future rounds. The difference between investing in 20 companies and actually having money to help the 2-3 that work.
A product development organization obsessed with shipping features rather than solving customer problems or delivering value. The startup equivalent of a hamster wheel—lots of motion, no actual progress.
The terrifying state of having mere weeks of cash remaining, when every expense is scrutinized and founders start drafting layoff announcements. The financial equivalent of flying on empty while the engine sputters.
In startup land, the glorious moment when founders and investors finally cash out, either through acquisition or IPO, turning years of ramen dinners and sleepless nights into actual money. It's the entrepreneurial equivalent of winning the lottery, except you had to build the lottery first. Every VC's favorite word and every founder's obsession after their Series A.
Investment structured to release capital in tranches as the company hits specific targets, giving investors control and founders ulcers. Trust, but verify, but mostly don't trust.
A venture fund typically under $50M that invests small checks in very early-stage startups. They offer founder-friendly terms and actual attention, mainly because they can't afford fancy offices or ignore their investments.
Lifetime Value—the total revenue a customer generates before churning, which you compare against acquisition cost to pretend your business makes sense. Usually wildly optimistic because it assumes customers stick around forever.
The speed at which a venture fund moves through its investment cycle, from raising capital to deploying it to returning capital to LPs. Faster isn't always better—ask anyone who inhaled their food and got heartburn.
A provision forcing minority shareholders to join a sale if majority shareholders approve it, preventing holdouts from blocking acquisitions. Democracy dies in shareholder agreements.
When a startup raises funding from institutional VCs after initially bootstrapping or taking only angel money. It's like moving from community college to the Ivy League, complete with higher expectations.
The lower compensation that employees accept to work at mission-driven startups or in attractive industries like gaming or entertainment. Employers exploit your dreams to underpay you.
A funding round with complex terms beyond simple equity purchase—such as multiple share classes, ratchets, or unusual liquidation preferences. It's what happens when lawyers earn their retainers.
The cultural expectation in startup ecosystems that successful entrepreneurs and investors should help newcomers, supposedly creating a virtuous cycle. In practice, it's often networking disguised as altruism.
The exhausting process of pitching multiple venture capital firms on Sand Hill Road in Menlo Park, often receiving similar feedback and soft rejections. It's speed dating for capital, and you're getting ghosted.
Additional investment in portfolio companies by existing investors in subsequent rounds. Doubling down on your bets or, less charitably, throwing good money after bad while hoping the first investment wasn't a complete disaster.
The pattern where a venture fund initially shows negative returns as it deploys capital and pays fees, before (hopefully) shooting upward when investments exit. A graph that looks like the letter J, assuming your fund doesn't remain in the vertical downstroke forever.
The speed at which a VC fund invests its committed capital. Deploy too fast and you look desperate; too slow and your LPs wonder if you can actually find deals.
The person you start a company with based on four hours of friendship and mutual delusion, who will become either your closest ally or your most expensive breakup. Dating is easier than finding a compatible co-founder.
A spreadsheet model showing how acquisition proceeds flow to different shareholders based on liquidation preferences and other terms—usually revealing that founders get far less than their ownership percentage suggests. It's where equity dreams go to die.
The overwhelming wave of convertible notes and SAFEs that convert to equity during a priced round, often revealing a far more complex cap table than founders realized. The moment when chickens come home to roost, except the chickens are financial instruments.
Term sheet provisions where investor rights decrease as the company hits performance milestones. A way to say 'we trust you more as you prove you're not incompetent.'