Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A glamorized term for someone who decided that working for themselves would be less stressful than having a boss (spoiler: they were wrong). These brave or foolish souls start their own ventures, risking everything from savings to sanity in pursuit of the dream of being their own boss and working only 80 hours a week instead of 40. Every LinkedIn bio now includes this word because 'unemployed but optimistic' doesn't have the same ring to it.
An investment opportunity sourced exclusively by one firm rather than through competitive process. The venture capital equivalent of finding $20 in your coat pocket—rare, lucky, and probably won't happen again.
An entrepreneur who returns to start another company after their previous venture was acquired or failed. They're either gluttons for punishment or genuinely addicted to the startup lifestyle.
A funding round at a lower valuation than the previous round, signaling either terrible execution or terrible timing. Triggers anti-dilution provisions and existential crises among founders.
The exhaustion investors feel after reviewing hundreds of pitch decks that all blur together with the same buzzwords and hockey stick projections. It's why your 'revolutionary AI blockchain solution' makes their eyes glaze over.
The degree to which a founder's background, skills, and experience align with the problem they're trying to solve. VCs love backing someone who's lived the pain they're addressing.
When investors, customers, or acquirers proactively reach out to a startup rather than being solicited. It's the entrepreneurial equivalent of being asked to the dance instead of doing the asking.
The revenue and costs associated with a single customer or transaction, supposedly proving your business model works before you scale. Often the awkward math that reveals you lose money on every sale but plan to make it up in volume.
The practice where investors force a startup to create or expand the employee option pool before a funding round, effectively diluting founders rather than new investors. It's a clever way to pay employees with founder equity.
Contract provisions allowing investors to force the company to buy back their shares after a certain period, typically if there's no exit. A rarely exercised nuclear option that reminds founders who really has the power.
The minimum annual return (typically 8%) that limited partners receive before general partners can claim carried interest, functioning as a hurdle rate to ensure LPs get paid first. Think of it as making the GP eat their vegetables before getting dessert.
A provision forcing minority shareholders to join a sale if majority shareholders approve it, preventing holdouts from blocking acquisitions. Democracy dies in shareholder agreements.
A provision in IPO underwriting allowing underwriters to sell additional shares if demand exceeds expectations, typically up to 15% more. Named after the first company to use it, because finance people hate straightforward names.
The delicate art of figuring out how to extract money from something that users currently enjoy for free, typically resulting in a barrage of ads, paywalls, or premium subscriptions. This verb represents the moment when platforms transition from "community-building" to "shareholder-pleasing," often coinciding with users complaining that everything good gets ruined. Monetization strategies range from subtle to obnoxious, but they all share the goal of turning engagement into revenue.
Any exchange of goods, services, or money, elevated to sound more important when preceded by 'business' or followed by 'cost.' In startup world, it's the holy grail metric that proves people are actually using your product for its intended purpose rather than just kicking the tires. VCs obsess over transaction volume, transaction value, and transaction frequency as if counting exchanges of value will somehow predict the future.
Excess stock options or debt that will dilute existing shareholders, hanging over the cap table like a financial storm cloud. Future pain that everyone pretends isn't there.
A product development organization obsessed with shipping features rather than solving customer problems or delivering value. The startup equivalent of a hamster wheel—lots of motion, no actual progress.
The pattern where a venture fund initially shows negative returns as it deploys capital and pays fees, before (hopefully) shooting upward when investments exit. A graph that looks like the letter J, assuming your fund doesn't remain in the vertical downstroke forever.
The time window (usually 3-5 years) during which a venture fund actively deploys capital into new investments, after which the GP is supposed to stop writing checks and focus on managing the existing portfolio. Think of it as the VC equivalent of last call at the bar.
Investors who prey on distressed startups, offering unfavorable terms when founders are desperate. They prefer the smell of burning runway in the morning.
A financing round raised at the same valuation as the previous round, suggesting a company has neither advanced nor declined—essentially treading water while burning cash. More diplomatically acceptable than a down round but almost as concerning to investors.
Preferred stock that gets both its money back first AND participates in remaining proceeds with common stockholders. The 'have your cake and eat it too' of liquidation preferences.
Making investment decisions at lightning speed with minimal diligence, named after Tiger Global's spray-and-pray approach during the 2020-2021 bubble. High velocity, low conviction, maximum FOMO.
Aggressively pursuing market share and user growth at the expense of profitability or unit economics, betting that dominance now will create a moat later. It's monopoly thinking fueled by venture capital.