Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
Short for 'carried interest'—the percentage of fund profits that goes to VCs as performance compensation, typically 20%. It's why venture capitalists drive Teslas even when most of their portfolio is worthless.
Loans provided to venture-backed startups, typically secured by assets or future funding rounds. It's called 'non-dilutive capital,' which really means 'you'll dilute yourself later when you can't pay it back.'
Legal promises in investment agreements where founders swear everything they've said is true and the company isn't hiding skeletons. Breaking these can result in personal liability, making due diligence the most stressful time to discover that intern you hired in 2019 never signed an IP assignment.
A product development organization obsessed with shipping features rather than solving customer problems or delivering value. The startup equivalent of a hamster wheel—lots of motion, no actual progress.
A pejorative term for investors who swoop in during distressed situations to extract maximum value at founders' expense. The same people who call themselves 'value investors' on their websites.
The overwhelming wave of convertible notes and SAFEs that convert to equity during a priced round, often revealing a far more complex cap table than founders realized. The moment when chickens come home to roost, except the chickens are financial instruments.
A VC or advisor who has actually built and run companies rather than just invested in them from the sidelines. The startup equivalent of a war veteran versus someone who just played Call of Duty.
The lower compensation that employees accept to work at mission-driven startups or in attractive industries like gaming or entertainment. Employers exploit your dreams to underpay you.
Investment opportunities sourced through unique channels rather than pitch competitions and cold emails, giving VCs the illusion they've discovered something competitors haven't. Usually just means they have better interns.
Also called tag-along rights, these allow minority shareholders to join a sale transaction if majority holders are selling their shares. The 'if you're abandoning ship, I'm coming too' clause.
The specific order in which investment proceeds are distributed among LPs and GPs based on the fund's legal agreements. It's the pecking order that determines who eats first at the exit feast.
A resilient company that survives on minimal resources and refuses to die despite market conditions that would kill competitors. They're scrappy, resourceful, and nearly impossible to eliminate.
A venture capitalist or firm that sporadically invests in startups outside their expertise or thesis, usually during hype cycles. They show up for the party, leave before cleanup, and wonder why founders don't return their calls.
The art of turning literally anything—your attention, your data, your grandmother's cookie recipe—into cold hard cash, typically by inserting ads or charging subscription fees. It's what happens when tech companies realize that 'free' products need to pay the bills somehow, usually by selling your eyeballs to advertisers. Essentially, if you're not paying for the product, someone's monetizing you.
A sales or fundraising strategy focused exclusively on landing enormous clients or investors rather than building up smaller ones. It's high-risk, high-reward betting where you either feast or starve.
Selling existing shares to other investors rather than the company issuing new shares, allowing early shareholders to get liquid without diluting anyone. The financial equivalent of sneaking out the back door.
Risky business undertakings or investments that could either make you rich or teach you expensive lessons about market dynamics. In startup speak, it's what venture capitalists fund, hoping that one unicorn will make up for the nine failures. Think of ventures as business experiments where the hypothesis is "this will make money" and the results are usually mixed.
A fancy term for someone who invests in or undertakes risky business ventures, particularly in the startup ecosystem where optimism meets capitalism. These bold souls throw money and energy at unproven business ideas, hoping to strike gold before bankruptcy strikes them. It's like being an explorer, except instead of discovering new lands, you're discovering new ways to burn through Series A funding.
Term sheet provisions where investor rights decrease as the company hits performance milestones. A way to say 'we trust you more as you prove you're not incompetent.'
The power to vote on corporate matters, typically held by common stock and sometimes special classes of preferred stock. Theoretically democratic, practically controlled by whoever wrote the term sheet.
A capital efficiency metric calculated as net burn divided by net new ARR, measuring how many dollars a company incincinerates to generate each dollar of recurring revenue. A burn multiple under 1.5x suggests efficiency; above 3x suggests a bonfire of investor capital.
A toxic funding structure where conversion price drops as stock price falls, creating a downward spiral that destroys equity value. The financial equivalent of quicksand—struggling only makes it worse.
The phase when a startup has proven product-market fit and focuses on scaling revenue, typically raising Series B or C funding. Where dreams of changing the world meet the reality of quarterly revenue targets.
When a company buys another startup not for its product, but primarily for its team. The startup equivalent of a zombie becoming useful.