Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The exhaustion investors feel after reviewing hundreds of pitch decks that all blur together with the same buzzwords and hockey stick projections. It's why your 'revolutionary AI blockchain solution' makes their eyes glaze over.
Emergency financing raised by a struggling startup at unfavorable terms just to avoid immediate shutdown. It's the fundraising equivalent of pulling the ripcord on a failing skydive.
A go-to-market strategy dependent on human sales teams to drive customer acquisition, typical in complex B2B products with long sales cycles. The opposite of letting the product sell itself.
The corporate buzzword for 'doing something new' that appears in every mission statement and keynote presentation. To innovate is to revolutionize or introduce novelty, though in practice it often means adding an app to something that worked fine without one. Companies that claim to innovate daily are usually just iterating on someone else's idea with a slightly different shade of blue.
Lifetime Value—the total revenue a customer generates before churning, which you compare against acquisition cost to pretend your business makes sense. Usually wildly optimistic because it assumes customers stick around forever.
The fancy business term for a proposal or offer, usually dressed up with adjectives like 'value' or 'unique' to make it sound more impressive than 'hey, wanna buy our stuff?' In startup pitch decks, the 'value proposition' is that one slide where founders explain why anyone should care about their idea, typically using a Venn diagram that doesn't quite make sense. A good proposition answers 'what's in it for me?' before the listener falls asleep.
Additional capital raised on the same terms as the previous round (like a Series A-1) rather than progressing to the next stage, buying time without the stigma of a flat or down round. The startup equivalent of taking an incomplete rather than failing the course.
Total Addressable Market, Serviceable Addressable Market, and Serviceable Obtainable Market—three increasingly pessimistic estimates of how much money you might theoretically make. The trilogy of optimism, realism, and 'if everything goes perfectly.'
The degree to which a founder's background, skills, and experience uniquely position them to solve a particular problem. The startup equivalent of being born for this moment, or at least having a plausible narrative for why you were.
Speeding up the vesting schedule of stock options, typically triggered by acquisition or termination. It's the consolation prize when your startup gets acquired and you're suddenly unemployed.
Raising capital by selling ownership stakes in the company rather than borrowing money. It's the fundamental bargain of venture capital: you get money now, investors get a piece of your future success (or failure).
In startup land, the terrifying gap between early adopters who'll buy anything shiny and the mainstream market that actually expects your product to work. Coined by Geoffrey Moore, this metaphorical canyon is where many promising startups go to die, usually because they assumed soccer moms would be as forgiving as tech bros. It's the entrepreneurial equivalent of realizing your mom's friends won't think your jokes are as funny as your college roommates did.
To launch a startup or project with minimal external funding by leveraging existing resources and sweat equity. The term originates from computing (where an OS loads itself into memory) but has become startup gospel—basically, pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps while investors watch from the sidelines.
To forcefully resurrect a dead project, company, or relationship using emergency measures and borrowed energy. Like CPR but for your failing startup's momentum.
A business and startup jargon term describing an exit strategy or way to gracefully exit a situation, deal, or initiative. Think of it as the metaphorical highway exit when the original plan isn't working out.
The sacred privilege granted to investors allowing them to maintain their ownership percentage in future funding rounds by ponying up more cash. It's like a VIP pass that lets you keep throwing money at a company before it becomes wildly successful or spectacularly flames out.
The VC who actually makes investment decisions and sits on boards, bearing unlimited liability but collecting management fees and carried interest. The person founders pitch to, hoping they're in a good mood.
The minimum return a VC fund must achieve before partners can collect carried interest—usually 8% annually. The bar LPs set to ensure their capital at least beats a boring index fund before the GP gets rich.
The industry dedicated to using living organisms and biological systems to create products, solve problems, and generally play god in the most profitable way possible. It's where biology meets engineering meets venture capital, resulting in everything from life-saving drugs to designer yeast that makes better beer. Think of it as science's entrepreneurial phase, where petri dishes can lead to IPOs.
The right to invest more than your proportional share in a subsequent round, allowing early investors to increase their ownership. Pro rata's aggressive older sibling who always wants more.
The strategy of perfecting product-market fit and unit economics in one market before expanding broadly. It's the anti-blitzscaling approach that prioritizes learning over land grabbing.
Actions taken to make existing capital last longer, typically through cost-cutting, down-rounds, or revenue generation—whatever keeps you alive until the next funding round. Financial life support for startups.
The most stripped-down version of your product that customers will actually use without demanding a refund—or at least that's the theory. In practice, it's whatever you can ship before running out of money.
Provisions allowing minority shareholders to join a sale if majority shareholders exit—the friendlier sibling of drag-along rights. It's protection ensuring you can't get abandoned while insiders cash out.