The language of silicon dreams and stack overflows.
A software development methodology that replaced long, painful development cycles with short, painful development cycles called sprints. The only thing that actually moves fast is the deadline. Comes with its own priesthood of certified Scrum Masters.
Application Programming Interface: the digital equivalent of a restaurant menu -- it tells you what you can order without making you watch the kitchen catch fire. When an API breaks, every developer suddenly becomes a detective and a therapist simultaneously.
Tiny programs that run inside larger applications, like parasites but more useful and less creepy. These mini-applications peaked in the Java era when they made websites "interactive" by loading slowly and crashing browsers. Now mostly extinct in web contexts, they're a nostalgic reminder of when "downloading a plugin" was considered cutting-edge technology.
Software plug-ins that extend the functionality of a larger application, like giving your Excel spreadsheet superpowers it never asked for. These little code parasites attach themselves to host programs to add features, automate tasks, or generally make your life easier—or introduce delightful new bugs. Think of them as the remora fish of the software world, hanging onto bigger programs for mutual benefit.
A step-by-step procedure for solving a problem or performing a calculation, now blamed for everything from bad recommendations to societal inequality. In computer science, it's the recipe your code follows to turn input into output. These days, 'the algorithm' is invoked mystically to explain why your social media shows you cat videos instead of news, like it's some inscrutable digital deity rather than just math someone wrote.
The industry and scientific field dealing with everything that flies or orbits, from commercial jets to satellites to vehicles that make Buck Rogers jealous. Encompasses both atmospheric flight and space exploration, because apparently conquering one wasn't ambitious enough. Where physics PhDs meet massive budgets to make expensive things go very fast very far away.
Advanced Encryption Standard, the government-approved way to scramble your data so thoroughly that even the NSA needs a warrant (theoretically). It's the cryptographic algorithm that protects everything from your credit card transactions to your embarrassing Google searches. Built to replace DES when computers got too fast, it comes in flavors of 128, 192, and 256-bit keys for varying levels of paranoia.
The magical stick or array of sticks that turns invisible electromagnetic waves into signals your devices can understand, or vice versa. Whether it's on an insect's head sensing pheromones or on your router sensing your desperation for faster Wi-Fi, it's basically a translator for waves. Modern ones are often hidden inside devices because visible antennas are apparently too honest about how technology actually works.
Software designed to detect, prevent, and remove malicious programs from your computer, essentially a digital immune system that's perpetually fighting the latest cyber diseases. It's the software you install, immediately forget about, then wonder why it's slowing down your computer during important presentations. The security industry's most successful ongoing subscription model, selling protection from threats they help make scary.
In tech, an operation so indivisible it makes atoms look like they have commitment issues. Either the entire transaction completes successfully, or it fails completely—no half-pregnant databases allowed. Think of it as the "all or nothing" principle that keeps your data from becoming a hot mess.
Software that's technically free but spiritually expensive, serving you ads like an overeager waiter pushing the daily special. It's the business model equivalent of "I'll work for exposure," except the exposure is literally advertisements plastered across your screen. Some variants moonlight as spyware, because why stop at annoying when you can be creepy too?
The magical land beyond airport security where a bottle of water costs $8 and the rules of normal society no longer apply. Once you've passed through the TSA gauntlet, you've entered airside—that liminal zone where time is meaningless, gate numbers make no sense, and you're legally obligated to walk past seventeen duty-free shops before reaching your departure gate.
The electronic equivalent of turning it up to eleven—the process of boosting voltage, power, or current to make weak signals actually worth listening to. Whether you're talking guitar pedals or telecommunications, it's all about making the small stuff big without completely destroying the integrity of the original signal. Engineers love it, audiophiles obsess over it, and marketing teams dramatically overstate its importance.
The act of replacing humans with machines, usually sold as 'efficiency gains' while simultaneously creating an entire industry of people who maintain the machines that replaced people. Originally meant to free humans from tedious tasks, it now mostly means replacing checkout clerks with self-service kiosks that require three employees to supervise. The ultimate corporate dream: a workforce that doesn't need bathroom breaks or complain about the office temperature.
The gradual loss of signal strength, wave amplitude, or general oomph as something travels through space or time. In tech, it's why your Wi-Fi sucks in the bathroom; in biology, it's why scientists deliberately weaken pathogens to make vaccines. Think of it as nature's (or physics') way of enforcing the "things get worse over distance" rule.
An operation that completes entirely or not at all, with no in-between states visible to other processes. Like Schrödinger's database transaction—it's either done or not done, never halfway.
The magical process of teaching machines to do your job so you can focus on explaining to management why you're still necessary. It's the art of replacing human error with systematic, scalable, computerized error. Essentially, it's converting manual tasks into automatic ones using technology, theoretically freeing humans for "higher-level thinking" (read: more meetings).
The person with elevated privileges and system access who can fix things when they break and break things when they're fixing them. In IT, administrators are responsible for keeping networks, servers, and databases running, which means they're perpetually blamed when anything goes wrong. They possess the sacred power to reset your password and the burden of being everyone's first call during outages.
Short for ampere, amplifier, or ampoule, because why use complete words when you can confuse three different professions at once? Electricians measure current with it, musicians crank it up to eleven with it, and medical professionals fill syringes from it. Context is everything, or you'll end up asking a sound engineer to inject you with 120 volts.
The diplomatic translator of the tech world that makes incompatible devices play nice together, like a universal mediator for your gadgets' communication issues. Whether it's converting your USB-C to USB-A or making your British plug work in American outlets, it's the unsung hero that keeps you from having a drawer full of useless electronics. Think of it as couples therapy for hardware that speaks different languages.
Short for applications—software programs designed for mobile devices or specific tasks, now so ubiquitous that we've forgotten they're just computer programs with better marketing. From ordering food to tracking your sleep, there's literally an app for everything, whether you need it or not. The modern solution to problems you didn't know you had.
A budget mobile phone brand that serves as a nostalgic reminder of pre-smartphone days or the current choice of extremely frugal shoppers. Owning one means you either lost a bet or have admirably transcended materialism.
A program that translates human-readable assembly language into the ones and zeros that computers actually understand, serving as the middleman between your low-level code and machine execution. Think of it as the world's most literal translator, converting mnemonic instructions into binary with zero creativity or interpretation. Also refers to assembly language itself, because programmers love using one word for multiple things.
The security process of proving you are who you claim to be, typically through passwords, biometrics, or sacrificing your firstborn to the security gods. It's the digital handshake that happens before a system trusts you enough to let you in, usually involving at least three wrong password attempts. Not to be confused with authorization, which is what happens after authentication and determines what you're actually allowed to do.