Agile

Definition

A software development methodology that replaced long, painful development cycles with short, painful development cycles called sprints. The only thing that actually moves fast is the deadline. Comes with its own priesthood of certified Scrum Masters.

Example Usage

"We're fully Agile now," the manager announced proudly, meaning the team had replaced their old chaos with a certified, name-brand chaos that cost $50,000 in training.

Related Terms

Advanced

FSA Wifi

A hyperbolically terrible WiFi connection so bad it apparently affects thousands worldwide, though likely named after one specific institution's nightmare network. It's the kind of internet that makes you question whether carrier pigeons might be faster. The digital equivalent of watching paint dry, except the paint keeps buffering.

💻 Tech / IT

Intermediate

impedance

The electrical world's way of saying 'resistance to change,' literally. It's the total opposition to alternating current flow in a circuit, combining resistance with the fancier reactances that make engineers feel important. Think of it as the circuit's stubborn refusal to let electricity flow freely, measured in ohms and blamed for countless troubleshooting headaches.

💻 Tech / IT

Beginner

Repository

A storage location for code, also known as the crime scene where developers commit their changes and occasionally their career-ending mistakes. Every repository has a README that was accurate once, briefly, in 2019.

💻 Tech / IT

Intermediate

cache

A speedy little storage spot where your computer or browser stashes frequently used stuff so it doesn't have to fetch it from the slow-ass hard drive or internet every single time. Think of it as your system's equivalent of keeping snacks in your desk drawer instead of walking to the vending machine. Clear it when things get weird, hoard it when you want speed.

💻 Tech / IT

Intermediate

biogas

The surprisingly useful fart produced when organic waste decomposes without oxygen, consisting mainly of methane and carbon dioxide. This eco-friendly fuel is essentially what happens when you let garbage rot in a controlled way and harvest its gaseous emissions for energy. It's renewable energy's answer to turning trash into treasure, proving that even decomposing waste can be productive.

💻 Tech / IT

Intermediate

applets

Tiny programs that run inside larger applications, like parasites but more useful and less creepy. These mini-applications peaked in the Java era when they made websites "interactive" by loading slowly and crashing browsers. Now mostly extinct in web contexts, they're a nostalgic reminder of when "downloading a plugin" was considered cutting-edge technology.

💻 Tech / IT

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