Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The phase between term sheet and closing where investors suddenly realize they haven't actually verified anything and demand 10,000 documents.
When a startup's momentum suddenly stops and it dies, usually after running out of money or investors realizing the idea doesn't work. It's spectacular and tragic.
Business-to-business sales model where your customer is another company that will spend six months getting approval to buy from you.
Pre-money is the company's value before funding; post-money is the value after. The difference is the amount you're raising.
Predictable revenue from subscriptions—the metric that makes VCs smile because it's actually measurable.
The process of convincing strangers to give you money based on PowerPoint slides and promises of future glory. It typically consumes 50% of a CEO's time and results in 30% dilution per round.
A new product or service that fundamentally changes how an industry operates—a term VCs use so often it's become meaningless.
When secondary investors rely on a lead investor's due diligence rather than doing their own—lazy investing enabled by information asymmetry.
A company that conducts business primarily on the internet, or the era of internet-based business ventures in the 1990s. The term comes from the ".com" domain suffix used by commercial websites.
Sequential funding rounds named alphabetically—each one supposedly the 'final' round until you need Series D.
Measurable signs that customers actually want your product—the startup equivalent of a pulse check.
A metaphor for product iteration where you build a simple prototype first, then progressively add features. It's the ideal version of MVP development that almost no one actually follows.
A funding round where the valuation is identical to (or extremely close to) the previous round's valuation, which founders desperately pretend is actually good news.
A professional or personal metamorphosis where you adaptively transform yourself—shedding old habits, attitudes, or personas like a mermaid trading her tail for legs—to fit seamlessly into a new environment or role.
That entrepreneurial superpower where you see profit potential in literally everything, from spare time to random objects. It's viewing the entire world through a lens of 'how can I monetize this?'
The person(s) running a VC fund who make investment decisions and get a slice of the profits. They're the ones who take credit for wins and explain away losses.
One company buying another, either for its technology and users or just to hire its talented team members—sometimes it's hard to tell which.
A VC fund or accelerator that has successfully backed multiple unicorns, earning them the right to be insufferably smug about their 'formula'.
A pharmaceutical or medical device startup valued at $1B+ despite not yet proving its technology works or generating revenue. Faith-based valuation meets venture capital.
A down round combined with the departure of key executives or massive losses—essentially the startup equivalent of hitting rock bottom while the bank forecloses.
Whether your business model can actually make money—a question founders tend to ask after they've already spent all the money.
Business-to-consumer sales model where your customer is an individual who will never read your terms of service and might churn after one bad experience.
A growing trend of founders rejecting venture capital in favor of bootstrapping, arguing that VC funding is more constraint than catalyst.
The special circle of Dante's Inferno where VCs ask increasingly absurd questions about your financial projections, customer concentration, and why your revenue is so lumpy.