The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
An employee whose salary falls below the minimum of their pay range, typically due to promotion or market adjustments. The opposite of red-circled, and equally awkward to explain.
The financial package given to departing executives (usually millionaires) to 'land softly,' because apparently regular severance isn't generous enough when stock options are involved.
A strategic initiative to ensure workplaces represent and support people from all backgrounds. Often abbreviated as DEI, sometimes followed by eye-rolling.
A worker identified as having the capability, aspiration, and engagement to rise to senior leadership roles. Commonly abbreviated as HiPo, because HR loves acronyms almost as much as favoritism.
Replacing an employee who has left or been promoted by hiring someone into their former position. The eternal corporate cycle where someone's promotion creates a domino effect of musical chairs.
The formal request to hire for an open position, requiring approval from multiple levels of management. The bureaucratic hurdle between 'we need someone' and actually posting a job.
Describing a work program where employees rotate through different positions or departments, theoretically to build diverse skills but often to prevent anyone from getting too comfortable. In mechanics and physics, it refers to anything involving spinning or rotating motion. HR departments love rotational programs because they sound developmental while actually just shuffling people around every few months.
A job opening that remains perpetually posted but is never actually filled due to unrealistic requirements, budget freezes, or lack of genuine intent to hire. The corporate equivalent of Schrödinger's job—simultaneously open and closed.
A fixed-term employment approach where both employer and employee commit to a specific project or time period with clear expectations and an endpoint. Think of it as a mission-based relationship rather than 'til death (or layoffs) do us part.
A one-on-one conversation between an employee and their manager's manager, bypassing the direct supervisor. Designed to provide leadership visibility but often feels like your boss is being investigated.
Long-tenured employees who no longer contribute effectively but are difficult to remove due to organizational inertia or legal protections. They're the human equivalent of that clutter you keep meaning to throw out but never do.
A feedback technique where criticism is sandwiched between two compliments, creating a positivity-negativity-positivity structure. It's the culinary approach to telling someone they're failing, though most employees can smell the BS from a mile away.
A person working for experience instead of money, which is definitely a fair trade according to your employer. Often found fetching coffee and mastering the art of looking busy while learning that their degree taught them nothing about the actual job. The term technically means someone imprisoned, which feels surprisingly accurate around month three.
Expanding a role to include higher-level responsibilities and decision-making authority to increase motivation and satisfaction. Unlike job enlargement, this actually adds meaningful work rather than just more work.
The process of documenting and sharing expertise from one employee to others, typically when someone leaves. It's the scramble to extract 20 years of wisdom into a PowerPoint deck during someone's last two weeks.
A continuously open job requisition used to build a talent pipeline for frequently needed roles. It gives the illusion of always hiring while allowing the company to ghost 99% of applicants at their leisure.
The formal remedy or compensation provided when someone's been wronged, typically used in British English and corporate complaint departments. It's the bureaucratic equivalent of saying 'our bad, here's something to make you shut up.' The term suggests a systematic approach to fixing problems, though in practice it often means endless forms and qualified apologies.
The corporate ritual of evaluating, measuring, and quantifying things—whether it's employee performance, property value, or how badly a project is going. It's the professional wrapper around judgment calls, complete with forms, metrics, and the illusion of objectivity. Everyone loves talking about "360-degree assessments" until they're the ones being assessed.
Firing someone for a legitimate, documented reason rather than at-will whimsy. Typically requires progressive discipline, warnings, and enough paperwork to deforest a small country.
An interview technique asking candidates to describe specific past situations rather than hypotheticals, based on the radical theory that past behavior predicts future performance. Questions always start with 'Tell me about a time when...'
An employee who jumps ship to work for the competition, usually taking trade secrets, client lists, and the good coffee machine pods with them. In corporate circles, defectors are simultaneously reviled by their former employers and celebrated by their new ones—at least until they defect again. The term carries a whiff of Cold War espionage, which is frankly appropriate given how HR treats these situations.
The cowardly art of making someone's job so miserable they quit voluntarily, saving the company from having to actually fire them and pay severance. It's passive-aggressive management disguised as organizational restructuring, complete with removed responsibilities and excluded meeting invites.
A feedback process where everyone in your orbit gets to anonymously roast you, ensuring that workplace grudges can be aired without accountability. It's democracy applied to performance reviews, which works about as well as you'd expect.
HR speak for 'your salary is disappointing, but look at all these other things!' A combination of pay, benefits, and perks designed to distract you from the fact that your base compensation hasn't kept up with inflation.