The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
The art of keeping various groups happy—executives, employees, regulators, and lawyers—usually by disappointing everyone equally.
A scheduling arrangement where employees can choose their hours, provided they arrive at 8am, attend 10am meetings, and stay until the work is done at 7pm.
When companies fire or force out unwanted employees instead of them voluntarily leaving; basically managed involuntary departure.
A comprehensive approach to employee compensation integrating base salary, bonuses, benefits, equity, wellness programs, and non-monetary rewards. HR's way of saying 'we're paying you less than you're worth, but look at all this other stuff!'
A visual representation of how many employees from a cohort remain with the company over time, typically plotted by hire date or tenure. The downward trajectory that makes CFOs weep.
Accumulated time that employees can take off while still being paid, provided they don't actually use it out of fear of being perceived as uncommitted.
The ongoing process of setting goals, monitoring progress, and documenting reasons to fire people later, usually disguised as 'development conversations.'
What a company claims to offer employees beyond salary, usually something vague like 'meaningful work' or 'growth opportunities.'
Working whenever, wherever you want—as long as it's basically 9-5 in your home office instead of the corporate office.
A shortage of employees with skills essential to organizational survival or competitive advantage, requiring urgent action. When you realize your entire roadmap depends on a skill set exactly two people on Earth have.
A third-party organization that legally employs staff on behalf of another company, handling payroll, benefits, and compliance. When you want employees but don't want the legal responsibility of actually employing them.
The practice of openly sharing salary ranges, pay equity data, and compensation structures with employees and job candidates. The trend that makes HR departments simultaneously proud and terrified.
The formal act of cutting ties—whether that's employment, a business relationship, or negotiations. It's the corporate way of saying 'we're done here' with legal documentation and usually an awkward conversation.
A corporate initiative to improve workplace representation while maintaining that the hiring pool was 'just not diverse enough.'
The software that filters job applications using algorithms, responsible for 75% of qualified candidates never being seen by human eyes.
The framework determining how and how much employees are paid, including base salary, bonuses, commissions, and equity. The secret formula you'll never fully understand because HR refuses to make salary bands public.
A meeting where managers gather to debate whether their employees are actually 'proficient' or just seem competent compared to others, achieving nothing conclusive.
The times you must be working even with flexible schedules, usually 10 AM to 4 PM, which defeats the purpose of flexibility.
The utopian HR state where employees actually care about their work instead of just showing up for a paycheck and mentally checking out. It's measured through surveys nobody reads and results that somehow always conclude you need more team-building activities.
The strategic approach to attracting, developing, retaining, and deploying human capital. Sounds data-driven and impressive; usually means 'we hope our good people don't leave.'
Compensatory time off in lieu of overtime pay; a way for companies to avoid paying while pretending to care about balance.
The company's noble belief that employees will move between departments, cities, and roles for development, assuming they don't have families.
The departure of high-performing, valuable employees—the type of turnover that actually hurts the organization. The kind of exit that makes managers say things like 'But we're the good guys!'
Corporate euphemism for layoffs, distinguished by its clinical efficiency and HR's sincere belief that a better acronym makes job loss less traumatic.