The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
Society for Human Resource Management—the professional organization that sets standards for HR and makes sure everyone knows the acronym.
The practice of not assigning individual desks, forcing employees to scramble daily for a workspace. It's saving money at the cost of sanity.
Leadership style treating employees like children who need guidance and protection. Often masks authoritarian decision-making as 'caring.'
When another company hires your good employees away. Considered unethical unless your company does it.
A legal agreement preventing employees from working for competitors after leaving. Controversial because it often favors the employer.
Reduction In Force—the euphemism for layoffs that makes firing people sound like a strategic business decision rather than a human tragedy.
Anonymous employee testimonies about company culture, used by HR to understand why they can't hire anyone. They rarely like what they find.
A state of dissatisfaction that drives change; the opposite of complacency. When people are discontented, they're motivated to demand better conditions, though management usually wishes they'd just keep quiet.
A glorious pause in work where you briefly escape your desk, inbox, or responsibilities—or a physical rupture in something, depending on whether you're refreshed or clumsy.
A scheduling arrangement where employees can choose their hours, provided they arrive at 8am, attend 10am meetings, and stay until the work is done at 7pm.
The art of keeping various groups happy—executives, employees, regulators, and lawyers—usually by disappointing everyone equally.
The HR function responsible for managing the relationship between employer and employees, or as employees call it, the complaint department.
The ongoing process of setting goals, monitoring progress, and documenting reasons to fire people later, usually disguised as 'development conversations.'
The formal act of cutting ties—whether that's employment, a business relationship, or negotiations. It's the corporate way of saying 'we're done here' with legal documentation and usually an awkward conversation.
What happens when your job description outlives your usefulness—you become the corporate equivalent of a deleted scene. In HR speak, this means getting let go because the company decided it doesn't need your role anymore, or simply being excessively repetitive.
Accumulated time that employees can take off while still being paid, provided they don't actually use it out of fear of being perceived as uncommitted.
Scientific evaluation using tests to measure personality, intelligence, or job fit; supposedly objective but often validates whatever bias you already had.
A meeting where managers gather to debate whether their employees are actually 'proficient' or just seem competent compared to others, achieving nothing conclusive.
Compensatory time off in lieu of overtime pay; a way for companies to avoid paying while pretending to care about balance.
Management's desperate attempt to get remote workers back to the office for 'collaboration' and 'culture.'
An informal HR approach to quickly checking in with someone or tapping them for information or work.
The times you must be working even with flexible schedules, usually 10 AM to 4 PM, which defeats the purpose of flexibility.
Working whenever, wherever you want—as long as it's basically 9-5 in your home office instead of the corporate office.
What a company claims to offer employees beyond salary, usually something vague like 'meaningful work' or 'growth opportunities.'