Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A strategic change in business direction that's celebrated in Silicon Valley but called failure literally everywhere else. It's the entrepreneurial equivalent of missing your exit on the highway and announcing you meant to take the scenic route.
The mythical moment when your product perfectly matches what customers want, described by VCs as essential but defined by no one in any useful way. It's like obscenity -- you know it when you see it, and most startups never see it.
The earliest stage of startup funding, which is a polite way of saying you're raising money based on nothing but a dream, a napkin sketch, and the audacity of a person who has never run a business. It's called pre-seed because the seed hasn't even been planted yet -- you're basically fundraising with dirt.
The contractual right of existing investors to lead or participate in the next funding round before the company can seek outside investors. It's a first-look deal built into your cap table.
A startup that a VC firm has invested in, now living in their collection like a Pokémon card. Each firm has dozens, knowing most will fail but hoping one becomes a legendary holographic Charizard.
Financial projections showing what a company's metrics would look like under hypothetical conditions or future scenarios. Latin for 'as a matter of form,' startup-ese for 'this is the fantasy we're selling investors.'
The sacred privilege granted to investors allowing them to maintain their ownership percentage in future funding rounds by ponying up more cash. It's like a VIP pass that lets you keep throwing money at a company before it becomes wildly successful or spectacularly flames out.
A clause letting preferred investors double-dip by getting their liquidation preference back AND participating in the remaining proceeds with common shareholders. It's having your cake, eating it too, and taking a slice of everyone else's.
The company valuation publicly announced or reported in the press, which may differ from the effective valuation once liquidation preferences and other terms are factored in. It's the Instagram filter for startup valuations.
The cultural expectation in startup ecosystems that successful entrepreneurs and investors should help newcomers, supposedly creating a virtuous cycle. In practice, it's often networking disguised as altruism.
The lower compensation that employees accept to work at mission-driven startups or in attractive industries like gaming or entertainment. Employers exploit your dreams to underpay you.
What investors claim your company is worth before they invest—a number that's actually meaningless but gets thrown around in press releases. Add the investment amount to get post-money, which is what your ownership percentage is actually based on.
A PowerPoint presentation optimized for skimming, typically 10-15 slides explaining why your startup will change the world and only needs $2M to do it. It's fiction dressed up as financial projections.
Investment opportunities sourced through unique channels rather than pitch competitions and cold emails, giving VCs the illusion they've discovered something competitors haven't. Usually just means they have better interns.
Preferred stock that gets both its money back first AND participates in remaining proceeds with common stockholders. The 'have your cake and eat it too' of liquidation preferences.
The right to maintain one's ownership percentage in subsequent funding rounds by investing additional capital proportionally. The 'I called dibs' clause of venture capital.
Services and resources VC firms provide beyond capital, such as recruiting help, PR support, or customer introductions. Marketing speak that ranges from genuinely useful to completely fictional.
A timeline of planned features that will be delivered late, if at all—your product team's creative fiction exercise. It exists primarily to give the sales team something to promise prospects that engineering will later disappoint.
Company valuation after investment capital is added, the number founders brag about while carefully omitting the 'post-money' qualifier. What your company is theoretically worth with someone else's money included.
The fancy business term for a proposal or offer, usually dressed up with adjectives like 'value' or 'unique' to make it sound more impressive than 'hey, wanna buy our stuff?' In startup pitch decks, the 'value proposition' is that one slide where founders explain why anyone should care about their idea, typically using a Venn diagram that doesn't quite make sense. A good proposition answers 'what's in it for me?' before the listener falls asleep.
The minimum annual return (typically 8%) that limited partners receive before general partners can claim carried interest, functioning as a hurdle rate to ensure LPs get paid first. Think of it as making the GP eat their vegetables before getting dessert.
A startup valued at over $1 billion that has never undergone the reality check of going public or getting acquired. Their unicorn status exists purely in the fantasy land of private market valuations.
The glossy sales document that makes every investment opportunity look like the next Amazon and every university look like Hogwarts, carefully balanced between legal obligation and marketing fantasy. In startup land, it's the formal document that transforms 'three guys in a garage with an app idea' into 'disruptive technology platform poised for exponential growth.' Every prospectus contains enough disclaimers to absolve everyone of everything while somehow still convincing you to hand over your money.
A shareholder who has contractual rights to approve or block an acquisition or IPO, giving them veto power over exit decisions regardless of ownership percentage. Democracy in action, if democracy meant a small group could overrule the majority.