The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
The process of identifying who will take over key roles when current leaders leave, retire, or ascend to a higher plane of executive retreat. In practice, it means everyone secretly knows who the backup is except the backup, who finds out the day their predecessor quits.
The clinical, robotic word for firing someone that makes it sound like deactivating a piece of equipment. HR uses it because saying "we ended a human's livelihood" doesn't fit neatly in a dropdown menu.
Unofficial reference checks conducted through personal networks rather than provided references, because everyone knows candidates only list people who'll say nice things. It's employment due diligence meets LinkedIn stalking.
Compensation components included in base salary calculations, as opposed to 'below-the-line' benefits and perks. It's the money that counts for calculating everything from bonuses to retirement contributions—the stuff that actually matters.
Full-Time Equivalent, a unit of measurement that reduces human beings to fractions. You might be 1.0 FTE, 0.5 FTE, or, if you're on three cross-functional committees, approximately 3.7 FTE squeezed into one salaried body.
A one-time payment rather than a permanent salary increase, letting companies reward employees without committing to higher ongoing costs. It's like getting a bonus disguised as a raise—exciting today, forgotten tomorrow.
A notice period where departing employees remain on payroll but are barred from working or accessing company resources, preventing them from sharing secrets with competitors. Paid time off for being too dangerous to keep around.
A salary raise based on individual performance rather than cost-of-living adjustments or tenure. It's the carrot companies dangle to make you work harder, usually sized more like a baby carrot than a normal one.
An employee marked for accelerated development and advancement. Often the target of 'special projects' that nobody else wants.
That document you spend hours perfecting to summarize your entire professional existence into one or two pages, which recruiters will skim in approximately six seconds. It's supposed to showcase your skills and experience without lying too obviously, formatted in a way that's both ATS-friendly and human-readable. The verb form means to continue something you paused, like your career after explaining that two-year gap.
Long-tenured employees who no longer contribute effectively but are difficult to remove due to organizational inertia or legal protections. They're the human equivalent of that clutter you keep meaning to throw out but never do.
A trusted coworker you can rely on during workplace crises, conflicts, or political battles—your corporate survival partner. They'll cover your back during layoffs and won't throw you under the bus when projects fail.
Illegally treating employees as independent contractors to avoid taxes, benefits, and labor protections. It's wage theft with extra steps and a business model for the gig economy.
A fancy rebrand of 'recruiter' that sounds like someone who hunts rare Pokémon instead of scrolling through LinkedIn all day. The terminology inflation makes the job sound strategic and elite, when really it's still just trying to fill Jennifer's position after she left for better pay.
The formal judgment of someone's value or performance, usually delivered in a conference room that smells like stale coffee and broken dreams. In HR contexts, it's that annual ritual where your boss tells you that your 'growth opportunities' are really just code for 'things you're bad at.' In real estate, it's the number that determines whether your refinance dreams live or die.
Paid time off that's definitely not a vacation, given while the company investigates whether you did something fireable. It's the corporate equivalent of "go to your room while we decide your punishment."
The complete package of compensation, benefits, perks, and non-monetary incentives offered to employees. What recruiters tout when the actual salary is disappointingly low.
The non-cash compensation package that companies dangle to make their salary offers look better than they are. These include health insurance (that you mostly pay for), paid time off (that you feel guilty using), and retirement matching (with seventeen pages of vesting schedules). HR describes them enthusiastically while you mentally calculate whether they're worth less than just getting paid more.
The department that simultaneously manages payroll, health insurance, 401k plans, and the mounting resentment from employees who discover their insurance covers virtually nothing.
A structured program where you learn a trade by actually doing it under an expert's guidance, as opposed to modern education where you rack up debt reading about it. The original learn-while-you-earn model that combines hands-on training with getting paid, proving our ancestors understood work-life balance before it was a buzzword. Historically how people became blacksmiths; today, how people become electricians without student loans.
In HR contexts, the complete compensation and benefits offering presented to an employee, including salary, bonuses, health insurance, retirement contributions, and various perks. It's how companies describe "what we're paying you" while making it sound more impressive by bundling in the dental plan and free coffee. Negotiating your package is essential because base salary tells only part of the story.
The formal request to hire for an open position, requiring approval from multiple levels of management. The bureaucratic hurdle between 'we need someone' and actually posting a job.
The movement of employees between roles, departments, or locations within the same organization. Companies love promoting it as a benefit while simultaneously blocking transfers to keep you trapped in your current role.
A structured model defining the skills, knowledge, and behaviors required for success in various roles. It's HR's attempt to reduce the art of doing a job well into a checklist.