Definition

The mythical pot of money your employer promises to give you after decades of service, assuming the company still exists and hasn't discovered creative ways to restructure it away. It's the old-school retirement plan that's slowly going extinct, replaced by 401(k)s that shift all the investment risk to you. Europeans still have them; Americans mostly have fond memories.

Example Usage

My grandfather's pension let him retire comfortably at 55, which is why I'm planning to work until I'm 80.

Source: HR terminology via Dictionary definitions

Related Terms

Intermediate

outplacement services

Career counseling and job search support provided to terminated employees, usually as part of a severance package. A company paying someone else to help you find a new job after they fired you.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

benefits

The non-cash compensation package that companies dangle to make their salary offers look better than they are. These include health insurance (that you mostly pay for), paid time off (that you feel guilty using), and retirement matching (with seventeen pages of vesting schedules). HR describes them enthusiastically while you mentally calculate whether they're worth less than just getting paid more.

👥 Human Resources
Intermediate

defector

An employee who jumps ship to work for the competition, usually taking trade secrets, client lists, and the good coffee machine pods with them. In corporate circles, defectors are simultaneously reviled by their former employers and celebrated by their new ones—at least until they defect again. The term carries a whiff of Cold War espionage, which is frankly appropriate given how HR treats these situations.

👥 Human Resources
Intermediate

COBRA

Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act—allows employees to continue health insurance after leaving, at eye-watering full cost. It's the law that proves your employer was subsidizing most of your healthcare all along.

👥 Human Resources
Advanced

talent hoarding

When managers refuse to let high-performing employees transfer to other departments or pursue internal opportunities, prioritizing their own team's success over organizational needs. It's kidnapping, but make it corporate.

👥 Human Resources
Intermediate

culture add

The evolution of 'culture fit' focusing on what diverse perspectives a candidate brings rather than how well they mirror existing employees. It's progress, assuming hiring managers actually understand the difference.

👥 Human Resources

Translate This Term

See “pension” in Corporate Speak, Gen-Z Slang, Pirate Speak, and more.

Try the Translator

Share This Term

Post on XShare on FacebookShare on LinkedIn

Discover a Term

Beginner

Final Form Doggo

The last and most final form of the dog, usually comes in the appearance of Gabe the Dog, with barking and yapping in a ...