STAT means now. Everything else means consult a specialist.
That eye-twitching phase of sleep where your brain processes dreams at high velocity. REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement—your brain's way of filing away the day's chaos.
A neurological condition affecting communication, sensory processing, and social interaction across the lifespan. Modern medicine recognizes it as a neurodevelopmental difference, not a deficit—though the internet has its own... creative definitions.
Having a disease or condition without showing any symptoms. The medical equivalent of finding out your house is on fire after the fact.
The aftereffects or complications that follow a disease or injury—basically the grudges your body holds long after the initial insult has healed.
Severe weight loss and muscle wasting seen in advanced disease, particularly cancer. The body's scorched-earth policy when illness takes control.
The medical term for vomiting, because saying 'puking' apparently lacks sufficient professional dignity. The body's aggressive return policy for unwanted stomach contents.
The medical term for fainting or passing out. Because 'took an involuntary nap while standing' doesn't sound sufficiently scientific.
The wasting away or decrease in size of tissue or organs from disuse or disease. Your body's harsh 'use it or lose it' policy made anatomically visible.
When your cells get a little too enthusiastic about multiplying and create more of themselves than necessary, making tissues or organs larger through sheer cellular overachievement. Unlike hypertrophy (where cells just get bigger), hyperplasia is about quantity over quality—your body cranking out extra cells like a factory that lost the memo about production limits. It's not always cancer, but it's definitely something your doctor wants to keep an eye on.
When your blood becomes more acidic than it should be, turning your carefully balanced pH into a chemistry experiment gone wrong. This metabolic party foul happens when your body either produces too much acid or can't get rid of it fast enough, making everything from your breathing to your kidney function work overtime to restore balance. Left unchecked, it's the kind of internal environment where enzymes start misbehaving and cells get cranky.
Any undesirable medical occurrence in a patient, whether or not it's related to treatment—basically the healthcare equivalent of 'well, that wasn't supposed to happen.' Ranges from mild side effects to major complications.
Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation—the technique of manually pumping someone's heart and breathing for them when their body has decided to take an unscheduled break from living. Hollywood makes it look gentle; reality involves breaking ribs.
The number of new cases of a disease occurring in a population during a specific time period—epidemiology's way of tracking whether we should panic or just be mildly concerned. Not to be confused with prevalence, which epidemiologists will correct you about smugly.
The premature death of cells and tissue in your body while you're still alive—basically localized tissue death that happens when blood flow gets cut off or cells get poisoned. The reason gangrene looks exactly as horrifying as it sounds.
Any microorganism that causes disease—bacteria, viruses, fungi, or parasites that decided being peaceful neighbors was boring. The microscopic villains of human health that keep infectious disease specialists employed.
In medical speak, a specific reason or symptom that justifies prescribing a particular treatment or medication—basically the doctor's permission slip for intervention. It's the clinical justification that separates appropriate medical care from malpractice lawsuits. Insurance companies love scrutinizing indications to deny claims, making this term more powerful than it sounds.
Vomiting blood, nature's way of saying your GI tract needs immediate attention. It's the kind of symptom that gets you to the front of the emergency department line.
An abnormally low platelet count, robbing your blood of its clotting minions and making every bump potentially problematic. It's when your body forgets to order enough of the cells that stop bleeding.
A physical examination technique involving tapping on body surfaces to assess underlying structures by sound quality, turning doctors into human sonar devices. It's drumming with a diagnostic purpose.
Acute confusion and altered mental status, when the brain temporarily goes offline and reality becomes negotiable. It's particularly common in hospitalized elderly patients and makes for very interesting nursing notes.
Medical professionals' attempt at making 'hot as balls' sound more anatomically sophisticated, because nothing says professional like organ-based temperature comparisons. Can refer to either physical attractiveness or actual temperature, giving it impressive versatility. It's what happens when doctors get tired of sounding serious all the time.
The medical specialty focused on healthcare for older adults, covering everything from preventing falls to managing seventeen simultaneous chronic conditions. It's the branch of medicine that requires equal parts clinical skill, patience, and the ability to shout clearly without being condescending. Think of it as primary care, but with more medication reconciliation and fewer illusions about immortality.
The use of powerful chemical agents to kill rapidly dividing cancer cells, which unfortunately also means destroying some healthy cells in the collateral damage. It's the treatment that saves lives while simultaneously making patients lose their hair, their lunch, and sometimes their will to watch food commercials. Modern medicine's equivalent of fighting fire with slightly more controlled fire.
The medical specialty studying how your body's defense system fights off invaders, from viruses to pollen to that questionable gas station sushi. This branch of medicine examines the immune system's complex network of cells, tissues, and molecular responses that keep you alive. It's basically the study of your body's microscopic army and why it sometimes mistakes cat dander for a lethal threat.