Publish or perish in the ivory tower of learning outcomes.
The measurement of education by hours spent in class rather than actual learning, because we apparently trust chairs more than outcomes. It's the academic version of presenteeism.
A student who enrolls in a course, appears on the roster, but never attends or participates, vanishing like an academic phantom. They haunt your gradebook until the withdrawal deadline passes.
The umbrella term for various forms of cheating, plagiarism, and ethical violations in scholarly work, from copying homework to fabricating research data. What students do when they're desperate; what universities prosecute when they're caught; what institutions enable through impossibly large classes and minimal support.
A numerical representation of academic performance calculated by averaging course grades, ostensibly providing an objective measure of student achievement. In reality, a reductionist metric that ignores course difficulty, grade inflation, and life circumstances while somehow determining your entire future.
Learning that occurs when instructor and students are separated by geography, now a sanitized term for 'online classes.' Previously the domain of correspondence schools, now the future of education, supposedly.
The widely-promoted but scientifically-debunked theory that students learn better when instruction matches their preferred modality (visual, auditory, kinesthetic). Education's horoscope: personally appealing, pedagogically useless, yet immortal in faculty development workshops.
A list of off-topic questions or issues temporarily set aside during a meeting or class to address later (theoretically). In practice, it's where good ideas go to die.
A custom-compiled collection of readings for a course, typically photocopied and bound, existing in legal gray areas of fair use. The precursor to expensive digital course materials that somehow cost even more.
The highest degree available in a field, usually a PhD or professional doctorate. Called 'terminal' because it's the end of the formal education line, though cynics note it often feels terminal in other ways.
An SME—someone with deep knowledge in a specific field who consultants or course designers collaborate with for content accuracy. It's a fancy title for "the person who actually knows what they're talking about" while others design around them.
Institutional Review Board—the committee that approves research involving human subjects to ensure ethical treatment. They're the bureaucratic guardians preventing another Tuskegee experiment, though researchers often view them as sadistic form-multiplication specialists.
"Alternative academic" careers - positions for PhD holders outside traditional faculty roles, which is a euphemism for 'your dreams of being a professor died, but here's a consolation prize.' Think academic administration, publishing, or museums.
Tenure-Track—the academic career path leading to permanent employment, assuming you publish enough, teach adequately, and survive the political minefield of departmental dynamics. It's the golden ticket that most PhDs compete for and few obtain.
An unplanned opportunity that arises naturally for learning, which educators seize to deliver impromptu instruction. In theory, it's spontaneous brilliance; in practice, it's often a professor's way of saying they're going off-syllabus again.
The percentage of admitted students who actually enroll, which keeps admissions officers awake at night. It's academic matchmaking anxiety quantified - how many people you asked out actually showed up for the date.
A campus that empties out on weekends because students flee to go home, leaving behind a ghost-town atmosphere and disappointed student life administrators. Community building is not happening here.
The holy grail of academic life - being excused from teaching a course to focus on research, service, or administrative duties. Essentially being paid to not do the thing you were ostensibly hired to do.
Academic shorthand for someone who survived their bachelor's degree and inexplicably decided more school was a good idea. These gluttons for punishment pursue master's or doctoral studies, trading their twenties for expertise, debt, and the ability to correct people at parties. It's the educational equivalent of finishing a marathon and signing up for an ultramarathon.
The division of institutional administration responsible for everything directly related to teaching, learning, and research—essentially the academic side of the house versus the business side. Where deans and provosts plot the future of curriculum.
A cohort-based approach where students take multiple courses together, theoretically building peer relationships and academic support networks. Forced friendship with pedagogical justification.
The format of course delivery—online, in-person, hybrid, or synchronous/asynchronous—determining how students will experience the content and where they'll attend class in their pajamas. The taxonomy of educational delivery systems.
To enroll and begin attending an institution, though it sounds way fancier than just saying 'start college.' Academic terminology loves making simple concepts sound intimidating.
The governing board of a university system, typically political appointees who make major decisions about institutions they often don't understand. They're to universities what corporate boards are to companies, except with more politicians and fewer people who've actually worked in education.
An administrative division within an institution such as a department, school, or college—the bureaucratic boxes on the organizational chart where faculty get sorted. Your academic family, complete with dysfunction.