Buzzwords that make boardrooms spin and PowerPoints sing.
The art of being physically present in the office so management can see you existing, regardless of whether you're accomplishing anything. Not to be confused with Apple's FaceTime, which at least serves a purpose.
A self-employed professional who trades the stability of a regular paycheck for the thrilling uncertainty of hustling for clients while working in pajamas. Freelancers enjoy the freedom to choose their projects and set their own hours, which usually means working twice as many hours for half the pay until they build a solid client base. The modern embodiment of "be your own boss" energy and perpetual invoicing anxiety.
A metric that converts various part-time, contract, and temporary workers into full-time employee units for headcount purposes. The mathematical fiction that makes your understaffed team look adequately resourced on spreadsheets.
That insufferable tone of joy and freedom that bubbles out when you're about to have multiple days off while everyone else suffers through their workweek. Not actually restricted to Fridays—this vocal phenomenon can occur on any day preceding your personal weekend, making you the most hated person in the office. Your enthusiasm is their pain.
The diplomatic way of saying something could theoretically be done without committing to whether it should be done or if anyone actually wants to do it. This adjective lives in the sweet spot between "impossible" and "confirmed," giving planners wiggle room to sound positive without making promises. When consultants say something is feasible, they mean it's technically possible given unlimited time, budget, and patience.
A fancy way to say "business" that makes your three-person startup sound like it has mahogany desks and a lobby receptionist. Whether you're a law firm, consulting firm, or accounting firm, slapping this word on your letterhead instantly adds 47% more gravitas. Fun fact: British hooligans also use it to describe their football gangs, because apparently violence needs branding too.
A constraint or requirement that compels a desired behavior or outcome by making alternatives impossible or impractical. It's institutional design that assumes people won't do the right thing unless you remove all other options.
A control mechanism requiring two people to approve a decision or action, reducing errors and fraud. It's the corporate trust fall where you literally can't do anything alone.
Acronym for "For Your Information," the corporate world's favorite passive-aggressive prefix when sharing facts someone definitely should have already known. It's simultaneously helpful and condescending, depending entirely on tone and context. In emails, it's the professional way to say "you're welcome for doing your job for you."
An urgent, chaotic scramble to address something that's suddenly a priority, despite being predictable weeks ago. Manufactured urgency masquerading as crisis management.