Buzzwords that make boardrooms spin and PowerPoints sing.
A negotiation outcome where both sides claim victory, which usually means one side won and the other side is too polite or too confused to realize they lost. The corporate version of a participation trophy.
Someone's area of expertise, borrowed from baseball by people who have never watched a single game. If everyone stayed in their wheelhouse, nothing would ever get done because wheelhouses apparently don't overlap.
A project management methodology where you plan everything upfront, follow the plan rigidly, and then act surprised when nothing works at the end. Named after a waterfall because once you go over the edge, there's no going back -- only screaming.
A dedicated space where teams gather to tackle urgent problems, manage crises, or coordinate intensive projects. Named after military command centers but typically featuring whiteboards instead of weapons.
A sequential project management approach where each phase must be completed before the next begins, flowing downward like a waterfall. Popular before everyone realized that business requirements change faster than waterfalls flow upward.
When executives leave their corner offices to briefly interact with regular employees, like anthropologists visiting a remote tribe. Often done before layoffs to identify who actually works there.
Premium, high-touch service typically reserved for important clients, as if your company is a fancy butler. Everyone else gets the regular gloves, or no gloves at all.
A limited timeframe to act before conditions change, implying urgency that may or may not be real. Often used to pressure decisions that probably need more thought.
The logistics practice of storing goods in a warehouse, or more sinisterly, acquiring a product specifically to prevent competitors from getting it. The latter is basically corporate trolling with real estate.
The art of selling massive quantities of stuff to retailers who then jack up the price and sell it to you, the sucker at the end of the chain. It's the business model that keeps Costco in business and makes you feel smart for buying 47 rolls of paper towels at once. Essentially, it's bulk selling before things get marked up for "presentation" and "convenience."
Premium, highly personalized customer service with meticulous attention to detail. Named after the formal gloves worn by elite service staff, minus the actual gloves and often minus the elite service.
The unwritten rules of professional videoconference behavior—muting your mic when not speaking, ensuring no leaf blowers are running in the background, and keeping your camera pointed at your face rather than your ceiling. It's basically 'don't be that person who ruins the all-hands meeting for thirty people' condensed into a single portmanteau.
Attractive, appealing, or charming in a way that is innocent, sweet, or endearing; possessing a quality that wins affection or admiration. The term suggests a combination of attractiveness and likability.
A product or service produced by one company but sold under another company's brand. The business equivalent of saying 'I didn't make it, but I'm selling it as mine.'
Corporate-speak for the movers and shakers whose influence keeps the organizational machine spinning. Usually preceded by 'big' to passive-aggressively remind you of the hierarchy and your relatively stationary position within it.
A person who talks endlessly to mask their complete lack of knowledge rather than simply admitting 'I don't know.' They'll dance around the obvious answer for ten minutes straight, leaving you wondering if they even know what they're saying.
To lie or roll about in mud, water, or some other substance with obvious pleasure or abandon; alternatively, to indulge self-pityingly in a negative emotion or condition. Pigs wallow in mud to cool off and protect their skin; humans wallow in despair or self-doubt.
A brand-name liquid correction fluid used to cover typing or writing errors on paper, typically applied with a small brush applicator and allowed to dry before writing over it. The generic term for this type of product is correction fluid.
A retail bookstore chain that operated in shopping malls throughout North America from 1962 to 2011, featuring new and bestselling books, magazines, and reading-related merchandise. It was a primary destination for book purchases before online retailers and e-books transformed the industry.