cheesemonger

Definition

A specialist in selecting, aging, and selling cheese who can discourse on terroir, aging techniques, and flavor profiles with the intensity of a sommelier discussing Grand Cru. The person you pretend to understand when they describe cheese as 'barnyard-forward.'

Example Usage

The cheesemonger recommended a washed-rind that smelled like feet but tasted like heaven, and charged accordingly.

Origin

From Old English 'mangere' (trader), combined with 'cheese'; historical term revived with artisan food movements

Fun Fact

Professional cheesemongers can identify hundreds of varieties by sight, smell, and taste, making them the most useful friends to have at parties.

Source: Specialty food retail terminology

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