Where cozy means tiny and charming means needs work.
The real estate agent's crystal ball that uses nearby home sales to predict what yours might sell for. It's part science, part art, and part wishful thinking depending on who's paying for it.
A spreadsheet listing all tenants in a rental property along with their lease terms, payment history, and unit details—basically the property's financial DNA. It's the first thing savvy investors scrutinize when evaluating a deal.
The process of evaluating recently sold similar properties to determine market value, essentially treating home pricing like comparison shopping for toasters. It's the foundation of appraisals and every pricing strategy that claims to be data-driven.
A retail lease provision letting tenants break the lease or pay reduced rent if an anchor store closes or occupancy drops below a threshold. It's the commercial tenant's escape hatch from a dying mall.
A mortgage with an interest rate that adjusts periodically, a financial arrangement that seems great until rates rise.
The percentage of the sale price paid to agents—traditionally 5-6% split between buyer's and seller's agents because that's what we've always done.
Money a tenant pays upfront as insurance against property damage, which landlords often illegally keep while the tenant argues with lawyers.
Recently sold similar properties used to determine market value, essentially determining price by analogy.
The charge lenders levy for processing your loan application and creating your mortgage. It's basically an admission fee to the debt party, typically 0.5-1% of the loan amount.
Upfront fees paid to the lender at closing to reduce your interest rate, where one point equals 1% of the loan amount. It's buying a discount on money you're borrowing—capitalism at its finest.
Official documentation from local government certifying that a building complies with codes and is safe for habitation. It's essentially a building's permission slip to exist with people inside it.
Property rights of landowners whose property borders large navigable lakes or oceans, governing use of water and shore access. Like riparian rights' fancy coastal cousin who summered in the Hamptons.
A metric comparing property income to debt payments, calculated by dividing net operating income by annual debt service. Commercial lenders worship this number, typically requiring 1.25 or higher to prove you can actually afford the loan.
The ratio of total building floor area to the size of the land parcel, expressed as a decimal that determines building bulk. A FAR of 2.0 means you can build twice the square footage of your lot, just stack it up.
The Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation, Fannie Mae's government-sponsored sibling that also purchases mortgages to stabilize the housing finance system. Together they're like the Batman and Robin of mortgage liquidity, if superheroes needed periodic taxpayer bailouts.
The buyer's revenge for gazumping—lowering your offer just before closing when the seller is desperate and has likely already bought their next home. It's financial chicken played with people's entire lives.
The escape hatch in every smart buyer's offer—a contingency allowing them to back out or renegotiate if the inspection reveals the house is held together by hope and termites. It's the 'just kidding' clause of real estate.
A formal eviction warning telling tenants to pay up, shape up, or get out. The landlord-tenant relationship's breakup letter, now with legal consequences.
The percentage of gross income consumed by operating expenses, revealing how efficiently a property performs. The financial equivalent of checking your car's MPG, but for buildings.
A flashy wheeler-dealer who's allergic to honest work, preferring to make money through shady speculation and questionable schemes. Think of that guy with gold chains who's been bankrupt three times but somehow still drives a Mercedes—registered in his wife's name, of course.
A legal instrument transferring whatever ownership interest the grantor has, if any, without warranties or guarantees. It's the real estate version of 'here, take it, not my problem anymore,' offering zero protection to the recipient.
A contract clause allowing buyers to back out or renegotiate if the home inspection reveals problems, serving as an escape hatch for when dream homes turn into money pits. It's the buyer's insurance policy against buying someone else's disaster.
The master legal document that transforms a building from a single property into individual units that can be separately owned. It's the legal spell that lets you own apartment 3B without owning the whole building.
A loan where the borrower remains personally liable even after foreclosure if the property sells for less than owed. It's the lender's insurance policy that you can't just walk away.