Where cozy means tiny and charming means needs work.
The discriminatory practice of denying services (especially loans) to residents of certain areas based on racial or ethnic composition. The shameful legacy that shaped American cities and whose effects persist decades after being outlawed.
Additional cash or property value included in a 1031 exchange to equalize the values being swapped, which unfortunately becomes taxable income. Named perfectly for something that kicks you right in the tax deferral strategy.
Ongoing expenses of property ownership including mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, and maintenance while holding property for investment. These costs literally 'carry' you financially from purchase to sale, often eating profits investors forgot to calculate.
The accelerated property deterioration and landlord exhaustion resulting from high-maintenance tenants, frequent turnovers, or challenging neighborhoods. It's the reason experienced landlords develop that thousand-yard stare.
When a seller accepts a higher offer after already agreeing to sell to someone else, legal in some markets and utterly infuriating everywhere. It's the real estate version of being left at the altar, except the bride married someone richer.
A lease that gives the tenant the right to sublease the property to others, essentially making them a middleman landlord. It's landlording with training wheels, or a profit opportunity, depending on your perspective and local laws.
Real estate euphemism for a building that's either foreclosed, about to be foreclosed, or looks like it should be condemned. The fixer-upper's troubled cousin who really needs an intervention.
A flashy wheeler-dealer who's allergic to honest work, preferring to make money through shady speculation and questionable schemes. Think of that guy with gold chains who's been bankrupt three times but somehow still drives a Mercedes—registered in his wife's name, of course.
A metric that pretends all square feet are created equal, whether they're in a penthouse or a basement. It's the real estate version of judging a book by counting the pages without reading any of them.
Debt-to-Income ratio—the calculation that determines if you're financially responsible enough to borrow money, by comparing your debts to your income. It's how lenders mathematically judge your life choices.
An estimate of a property's value provided by a licensed broker rather than a certified appraiser, often used by lenders for less critical valuations. It's the fast-food version of an appraisal—quicker, cheaper, and potentially less reliable.
An agreement giving someone the right, but not obligation, to purchase property at a set price within a specified timeframe. It's essentially renting the opportunity to decide later, popular with investors who want to control property without owning it yet.
The bank's legal power move when you can't make mortgage payments, essentially repo'ing your house and evicting your dreams of homeownership. It's the financial equivalent of 'if I can't have you, nobody can,' except it's your lender and your property. The process involves courts, judgments, and that sinking feeling that you should have read the fine print.
The actual square footage tenants can occupy and must pay for, excluding common areas, mechanical rooms, and structural elements. It's why your 'thousand square foot' office feels like eight hundred.
The expensive metal boxes that come with your home and inevitably break one week after the warranty expires. In real estate listings, 'stainless steel appliances' is code for 'we did the bare minimum to make this place sellable,' while 'appliances included' means they're too old to bother moving. These kitchen and laundry machines represent the intersection of necessity, status symbol, and planned obsolescence.
The area of ground that a building occupies, measured at its foundation level. Like a carbon footprint, but for structures and without the environmental guilt.
The minimum time you must own a property or have a mortgage before certain transactions are allowed. Real estate's way of preventing you from flipping too fast.
Annual net income divided by property cost, the primary metric for evaluating commercial real estate investments.
The percentage of the sale price paid to agents—traditionally 5-6% split between buyer's and seller's agents because that's what we've always done.
A metric unit of land area equal to 100 square meters—basically a tiny plot that real estate developers pretend doesn't matter when calculating density.
Money a tenant pays upfront as insurance against property damage, which landlords often illegally keep while the tenant argues with lawyers.
Covenants, Conditions & Restrictions—the rulebook that HOAs use to control your life in writing.
Letter of Intent—the 'I'm seriously interested but not legally committed yet' document that keeps everyone guessing.
The rate at which available homes are sold in a specific market during a given time period. Think of it as the speed at which the market 'eats' inventory—crucial for determining whether you're in for a feeding frenzy or a slow dining experience.