Buzzwords that make boardrooms spin and PowerPoints sing.
A person who pays for continuous access to a service, publication, or resource—the revenue model's best friend and the marketer's holy grail. They're basically paying you to stay in their inbox.
Functional and repairable; the sad reality of products designed before planned obsolescence was invented. Something that can actually be fixed instead of landfilled.
To cut the cord, sever ties, or cleanly separate one thing from another—often used when companies finally acknowledge they're not compatible. It's the corporate equivalent of a breakup executed with HR efficiency.
Keeping something alive, functional, or supported long enough to matter—whether it's a business, an argument, or your motivation on a Monday morning. It's the art of maintenance disguised as progress.
A meeting where an entire team or department gathers to synchronize on priorities, updates, and blockers—basically a mandatory group text message that happens in real-time and costs the company eight times as much productivity as it generates. Often features someone's cat walking across the keyboard and at least one person unmuted eating chips.
An official-sounding term for something the company wants to do. Literally interchangeable with 'goal,' 'project,' or 'thing we're working on,' but with more gravitas and PowerPoint slides.
Getting agreement and support from the people who are affected by or interested in a decision. A euphemism for 'we need to convince people to do this whether they want to or not.'
To silently burn with resentment, tension, or suppressed emotion—like passive-aggressive energy waiting for its moment to explode. The corporate equivalent of an employee plotting their next power move.
Someone professionally employed to think several moves ahead and make grand plans about what should happen next—their actual success rate varies wildly depending on who's funding them.
The illusion that combining two companies will create value through elimination of redundancy and cost-sharing. Usually results in the opposite—chaos, talent loss, and duplicate spending.
Romance, friendships, or alliances formed aboard a vessel that are as temporary as the voyage itself—lasting only as long as the anchor stays up. Used colloquially to describe fleeting corporate relationships born at conferences.
When a company's unwanted child becomes a successful adult—basically corporate nepotism that occasionally pays off. The unexpected bonus feature nobody asked for but somehow can't live without.
To elegantly dodge a question, responsibility, or accountability with the grace of a seasoned politician. The corporate waltz of 'I didn't hear that' presented as strategic maneuvering.
The art of pretending you know where you're going while making micro-adjustments to avoid disaster. In business, it's what leaders claim to do while actually just reacting to market pressures and hoping the quarterly report looks presentable.