Performance Review

Definition

An annual ritual where your entire year of work is compressed into a 30-minute conversation and a rating between 1 and 5 that determines your raise, your bonus, and your will to live. It's American Idol but for spreadsheet proficiency.

Example Usage

"My performance review said I 'meet expectations.' The expectation was apparently to do three people's jobs for one person's salary. Expectations met." - A satisfactory employee

Related Terms

Beginner

complaints

In legal contexts, the initial formal document filed by a plaintiff that kicks off a civil lawsuit, outlining the alleged wrongs and requested relief. In HR contexts, it's when employees formally report grievances, discrimination, harassment, or violations—triggering investigations that make everyone nervous. Either way, complaints mean someone's day is about to get significantly more complicated.

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

exclusion

The corporate-friendly term for deliberately leaving someone or something out, whether it's an insurance policy fine print gotcha or the social dynamics of not inviting Kevin to the planning meeting. In HR contexts, it's the thing companies are sued for when they accidentally-on-purpose leave certain people out of opportunities. Organizations now have entire departments dedicated to preventing exclusion while their employee resource groups meet during everyone's lunch break.

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

foxhole buddy

A trusted coworker you can rely on during workplace crises, conflicts, or political battles—your corporate survival partner. They'll cover your back during layoffs and won't throw you under the bus when projects fail.

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

Termination

The clinical, robotic word for firing someone that makes it sound like deactivating a piece of equipment. HR uses it because saying "we ended a human's livelihood" doesn't fit neatly in a dropdown menu.

👥 Human Resources

Advanced

worker misclassification

Illegally treating employees as independent contractors to avoid taxes, benefits, and labor protections. It's wage theft with extra steps and a business model for the gig economy.

👥 Human Resources

Advanced

green-circled

An employee whose salary falls below the minimum of their pay range, typically due to promotion or market adjustments. The opposite of being overpaid—you're officially, systematically underpaid.

👥 Human Resources

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Intermediate

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