The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
A meeting where managers compare employee ratings to ensure consistency and fairness, theoretically. In practice, it's where your fate is decided by people arguing over forced distribution curves.
The framework determining how and how much employees are paid, including base salary, bonuses, commissions, and equity. The secret formula you'll never fully understand because HR refuses to make salary bands public.
A shortage of employees with skills essential to organizational survival or competitive advantage, requiring urgent action. When you realize your entire roadmap depends on a skill set exactly two people on Earth have.
Compensatory time off in lieu of overtime pay; a way for companies to avoid paying while pretending to care about balance.
The times you must be working even with flexible schedules, usually 10 AM to 4 PM, which defeats the purpose of flexibility.
A meeting where managers gather to debate whether their employees are actually 'proficient' or just seem competent compared to others, achieving nothing conclusive.
Information gathered about competitors' compensation, benefits, and practices to inform HR strategy—corporate espionage but legal and boring.
The department responsible for managing salaries, bonuses, health insurance, and all the perks that make you feel almost adequately paid for your work.
The practice of publicly identifying and criticizing individuals for perceived misconduct or insensitivity—workplace accountability that bypasses HR and goes straight to social media.
Compensation that's supposedly aligned with market rates for similar positions in similar industries. It's what companies claim when they're actually paying 15% below market.
The distinction between hiring someone who fits your existing culture versus someone who adds diversity of thought to it, with 'culture fit' sometimes being code for 'hire people like us.'
Short for compensation and benefits—the stuff HR tangles into incomprehensible benefits packets while bragging about how awesome your health insurance is.
A meeting where managers discuss and align on employee performance ratings to ensure consistency and eliminate bias, often degenerating into political negotiation.
A 1986 U.S. law allowing employees to continue health insurance after leaving their job, though at full premium cost (ouch). It's basically the government saying 'you can keep insurance, just pay what we were subsidizing.'
A career track for technical or specialist employees to advance and earn senior titles without becoming managers, recognizing that not everyone wants to manage people.
A flexible career progression model allowing lateral moves, not just vertical climbs. Corporate acknowledgment that not everyone wants to manage people.
The HR department's way of packaging salary, health insurance, and the promise of work-life balance into one tidy compensation package.
What HR says when they're actually paying you 10% below market rate. It's competitive in the sense that they're competing to keep costs low.