Numbers dressed up in fancy suits pretending to be words.
A category of investments with similar characteristics—so you can group your terrible decisions into tidy portfolios.
Money you owe for the privilege of belonging to a club, association, or organization. Also, what you get when someone finally admits you were right all along.
A curated roadmap to finding stuff in a document or database, the thing your pointer finger is named after, or a numerical benchmark that tells you if markets are having a good day or a panic attack. In finance, it's the scorecard everyone obsesses over.
One of every hundred—the metric that makes statistics sound official even when they're basically just guesses. Your new favorite way to confuse people with math.
A data-hungry individual whose job is literally to count things and convert reality into spreadsheets. The unsung hero of statistics who transforms "a bunch of stuff" into actual numbers.
A formal agreement to pay for ongoing access to a service, resource, or property over a set period—the modern way to ensure consistent income or perpetual FOMO depending on which side you're on.
To decline in value over time, or to belittle something—the financial equivalent of watching your investment slowly deflate like a sad balloon.
A cost you've incurred but haven't paid for yet—basically expenses you owe but haven't got the bill for.
Pieces of corporate ownership that you can buy and sell obsessively while checking your phone every five minutes. Or, a supply of raw materials waiting to become something useful.
The upper limit you're not supposed to exceed—whether it's a price cap, altitude restriction, or your boss's patience. The thing above your head that prevents you from going higher.
The failure to meet financial or contractual obligations on time, or the pre-configured settings in software that nobody bothers to change—both equally problematic in their own ways.
The length of time something takes, from start to finish—also a finance term that measures how bond prices throw a tantrum when interest rates change. In music, it's how long a note gets to hang out; in warfare, it's corporate-speak for 'how long this mess lasts.'
Extra stuff you didn't budget for but desperately need anyway—the legislative equivalent of a parent asking for another round of allowance. It's the admission that your initial plan was incomplete, and you need additional funding to finish what you started.
International Financial Reporting Standards—GAAP's global cousin that's supposed to harmonize accounting worldwide, with mixed success.
Compensation from employment that's so pitiful you'd need government assistance to survive, even with a job. These poverty-level wages force workers to supplement income with public benefits just to cover basic necessities.
The reduction in value of an asset over time due to wear, obsolescence, or market conditions—accountants' favorite way of reminding you your stuff isn't worth what you paid for it.
To convert assets or opportunities into liquid capital or profit, or to exploit a favorable situation before it vanishes—the art of turning 'what you have' into 'what you can actually use'.
To assign disproportionate importance or numerical values to specific data points, typically used in statistics and financial modeling to skew results toward a desired outcome.
The total market value of a company's outstanding shares, or the process of converting assets into liquid capital—essentially what makes investors either sleep soundly or panic-sell at 3 a.m.
Generally Accepted Accounting Principles—the rulebook for how to count money in the United States, though it somehow still permits creative interpretation.
The bookkeeper's favorite white lie—spreading a gigantic debt or capital expense across multiple years so nobody has to stare directly at the fiscal crater you just created. Whether you're slowly drowning in a mortgage or pretending that expensive software will somehow stay useful until you've paid it off, amortisation is the art of making financial pain installment-friendly.
Profit and Loss statement—the report that shows whether your business made money or spectacularly failed to do so.
The direct costs of producing your products—basically the stuff that physically goes into making what you sell.
Profit divided by investment—showing how much money you made relative to what you put in, assuming you're measuring profit honestly.