Definition

Someone who does way too much for a person who gives them nothing in return. Originally meant 'Suckers Idolizing Mediocre People' but now it's used anytime anyone shows basic human kindness toward their crush. Held a door open? Simp. Said 'good morning'? Mega simp.

Example Usage

"He drove 45 minutes to bring her Starbucks and she responded with a thumbs-up emoji. Down catastrophically bad. Simp of the century. Someone check on him."

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pert near

Rural Americana for "pretty nearly" or "almost," typically heard in places where "y'all" is grammatically correct and pickup trucks outnumber sedans. It's the folksy way to describe a close call or near-miss.

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lmpitw

let me put it this way

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wank

British slang for something utterly rubbish, worthless, or offensively terrible. When 'bad' just won't cut it and you need that extra British bite to convey your disappointment, this is your go-to descriptor.

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