Definition

Automatic budget cuts that kick in when Congress can't agree on a spending plan, which is like your bank cutting your credit card in half because you and your spouse couldn't agree on a household budget. It's punishment for governmental incompetence, applied to everyone except the incompetent.

Example Usage

"The sequester cut funding to everything equally, which is the government's way of saying if we can't do our job well, we'll make sure nobody can."

Related Terms

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discharge petition

A procedural tool allowing House members to force a bill out of committee if they can gather 218 signatures, essentially staging a legislative jailbreak. It's rarely successful because it requires betraying your party leadership.

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incumbents

The current office-holders who enjoy the perks of name recognition, franking privileges, and an entire staff dedicated to making them look good. These are the politicians with 'experience' (read: connections) who statistically win re-election at rates that would make Vegas bookies jealous. The reason why 'throw the bums out' rarely results in actual bum-throwing.

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Filibuster

The political equivalent of a toddler holding their breath until they get what they want, except it involves reading phone books on the Senate floor for twelve hours. Democracy at its finest, if your definition of democracy includes weaponized boredom.

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ex officio

Holding a position by virtue of one's office rather than by election or appointment to that specific role. The 'you're already here, might as well join this committee too' principle of government organization.

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sunset clause

A provision causing legislation to automatically expire after a set period unless renewed, forcing future lawmakers to actively continue the policy. It's the political equivalent of a subscription service that makes you reconfirm annually.

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question period

A regular session in parliamentary systems where the executive answers questions from legislators, theoretically ensuring accountability but often devolving into choreographed theater where both sides perform for cameras.

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