Definition

Someone who has successfully escaped the corporate hamster wheel and now spends their days pretending to be busy with hobbies while secretly napping. The ultimate goal of every employee who's sat through one too many pointless meetings. They're living proof that there is, in fact, life after email.

Example Usage

As a new retiree, Margaret spent her first month deleting work emails she'd been hoarding since 2003.

Source: Common workplace terminology

Related Terms

Advanced

talent hoarding

When managers refuse to let high-performing employees transfer to other departments or pursue internal opportunities, prioritizing their own team's success over organizational needs. It's kidnapping, but make it corporate.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

return to office mandate

A corporate policy proving that middle managers need to physically see you working to justify their existence. Often disguised as promoting 'collaboration' while actually just protecting expensive real estate investments.

👥 Human Resources
Intermediate

job enlargement

The practice of expanding an employee's role to include more tasks at the same level of responsibility. It's giving someone more work without calling it a promotion or raising their pay.

👥 Human Resources
Intermediate

seagull manager

A manager who swoops in unexpectedly, makes a lot of noise, dumps on everything, and flies away leaving others to clean up the mess. They're absent until there's a crisis, then arrive to criticize without context or solutions.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

360-degree feedback

A performance evaluation process where employees receive confidential, anonymous feedback from everyone around them—supervisors, peers, subordinates, and sometimes clients. It's like being roasted from all directions, but professionally.

👥 Human Resources
Intermediate

reasonable accommodation

Modifications or adjustments enabling employees with disabilities to perform essential job functions, required under the ADA unless they cause 'undue hardship.' It's the legal framework for accessibility that shouldn't need legal framework.

👥 Human Resources

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See “retiree” in Corporate Speak, Gen-Z Slang, Pirate Speak, and more.

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