Definition

To contact someone, reimagined as a caring gesture rather than just sending an email. The corporate phrase that makes spam sound like emotional support.

Example Usage

I'll reach out to the vendor about why they're three weeks late on delivery.

Origin

Popularized in business communication in the 2000s-2010s

Fun Fact

Before 'reach out,' people simply 'contacted' others without pretending it was a heartfelt connection.

Source: Common corporate terminology

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A PowerPoint presentation, usually containing 47 slides when only 5 were necessary. The corporate equivalent of a bedtime story, except everyone stays awake out of fear rather than interest.

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transcription

The soul-crushing process of converting audio into text, where you discover that people say "um" approximately 47 times per minute and rarely finish their sentences. This painstaking task involves rewinding the same three seconds repeatedly because someone mumbled their crucial point while eating a sandwich. Now partially automated by AI that still can't figure out the difference between "their" and "there."

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proactive

The corporate buzzword meaning you're supposed to anticipate problems before they happen, rather than frantically fixing them afterward like a normal person. It's the opposite of 'reactive,' and using it in meetings makes you sound strategic even when you're just guessing about the future. Every manager wants proactive employees, preferably ones with actual psychic abilities.

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Drink the Kool-Aid

To buy into company culture with the unquestioning enthusiasm of someone who just discovered the snack bar is free. Often uttered by people who have consumed entire swimming pools of the stuff.

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Low-Hanging Fruit

Easy tasks that everyone identifies but nobody wants to actually pick because they're too busy pointing at the fruit. The corporate equivalent of picking up a dollar bill off the ground but writing a strategy doc about it first.

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Swivel chair process

A workflow requiring someone to manually transfer data between incompatible systems by literally swiveling between computers. A monument to IT departments that couldn't be bothered to build proper integrations.

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