left-handed compliment

Definition

A remark that appears to be praise but contains an insult or criticism. The officer evaluation report specialty, where 'performs adequately' means 'please never promote this person.'

Example Usage

Saying he 'consistently met minimum standards' was a real left-handed compliment in his fitness report.

Origin

Historical association of left-handedness with awkwardness or insincerity

Fun Fact

Military evaluation reports have evolved an entire coded language where seemingly positive phrases signal career-ending problems to those who know how to read them.

Source: Military personnel evaluation culture

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death by PowerPoint

The excruciating experience of sitting through endless, poorly designed slide presentations that drain the will to live. A modern form of torture perfected in military briefing rooms.

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A designated area on a military map defined by coordinate lines, typically 1,000 meters by 1,000 meters. Also a legendary fictitious item that new soldiers are sent to retrieve, alongside chem-light batteries and keys to the drop zone.

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Intermediate

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Close Air Support—aircraft attacking enemy forces in dangerous proximity to friendly troops, requiring precise coordination to avoid turning your own soldiers into pink mist. Fighter pilots playing danger close while ground troops provide running commentary.

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no joy

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