Golden Parachute

Definition

A massive payout given to executives when they get fired, because apparently failing at the highest level should be rewarded with generational wealth. It's the corporate equivalent of getting expelled from school and receiving a Ferrari as a consolation prize.

Example Usage

"The CEO got fired for tanking the stock price and walked away with a $50 million golden parachute. Meanwhile, I got laid off and received a box for my desk plants."

Related Terms

Advanced

negative carry

When the cost of financing an asset exceeds the income it generates, resulting in losses for every day you hold it. It's like paying more in parking fees than your car is worth.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Intermediate

assets

Anything you own that's worth actual money or could theoretically be converted into money, from real estate to that dusty server in the corner. In business, it's the good side of your balance sheet that makes you look solvent. In intelligence work, it refers to human sources—actual people feeding you information—which is a wildly different but equally valuable definition.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Intermediate

tax loss harvesting

The practice of selling investments at a loss to offset capital gains and reduce tax liability, then often buying similar assets to maintain market exposure. It's using the tax code's lemons to make lemonade.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Beginner

book value

An asset's value on the balance sheet after accounting for depreciation and amortization—basically what the accountants say it's worth, which often bears no resemblance to what someone would actually pay for it.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Advanced

securitization

The financial alchemy of bundling loans or other assets into securities that can be sold to investors, because why hold boring old mortgages when you can slice, dice, and trade them? This process converts illiquid assets into tradable securities, spreading risk around like a game of hot potato—which worked great until 2008 taught us what happens when the music stops. Banks love it because it gets debt off their books; investors tolerate it for the yields.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Beginner

earnings before interest and taxes

Operating income that excludes financing costs and tax expenses, providing a clearer view of operational performance. It's EBITDA's more conservative cousin that remembers depreciation and amortization are real expenses.

💰 Finance / Accounting

Translate This Term

See “Golden Parachute” in Corporate Speak, Gen-Z Slang, Pirate Speak, and more.

Try the Translator

Share This Term

Post on X Share on Facebook Share on LinkedIn

Discover a Term

Beginner

bumpy nickels

When a woman of a rather large size wears tight fitting pants so that one can see every bit of cellulite in her ass thro...