Compensation

Beginner 👥 Human Resources

Definition

The money and benefits you receive in exchange for your labor, sanity, and ever-growing collection of meetings that could have been emails. The word itself comes from Latin, meaning "to weigh together," which is ironic because the scale never tips in your favor.

Example Usage

"My compensation review resulted in a 2% raise that was technically less than inflation. My manager called it a strong year. I called my recruiter." - A mathematically literate employee

Related Terms

Advanced

pre-boarding

The engagement process between accepting a job offer and the first day of work, designed to keep candidates excited and prevent them from ghosting. It's like dating after getting engaged—you've committed, but someone might still get cold feet.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

Mentorship

A professional relationship where a senior employee gives career advice to a junior employee, usually by telling them to do the exact opposite of what made the senior employee successful. The mentor gets to feel wise and the mentee gets anecdotes from 2003.

👥 Human Resources
Intermediate

salary benchmarking

The practice of comparing your compensation levels against market data to ensure you're paying competitively. The corporate version of checking if you're getting ripped off.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

talent pipeline

A pool of qualified candidates cultivated over time for future hiring needs, like a farm system for employees. Requires significantly more patience than posting on Indeed when you're desperate.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

evaluation

The corporate ritual where your boss assigns numerical values to your humanity, typically determining whether you get a raise or just 'valuable feedback.' It's an assessment that pretends to be objective while being influenced by office politics, recent memory bias, and how well you schmooze. In math, it's simply solving for X; in life, it's solving for your mortgage payment.

👥 Human Resources
Beginner

PTO

Paid Time Off, which is technically time away from work that you're paid for, except you'll spend half of it answering Slack messages and the other half feeling guilty for not answering them faster.

👥 Human Resources

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