C-section

Definition

Cesarean section—surgical delivery of a baby through an incision in the abdomen when vaginal birth isn't advisable or possible. The sunroof exit method that has saved countless lives but sparked endless mommy-wars debates.

Example Usage

After 18 hours of labor going nowhere, they decided on a C-section, and suddenly the baby had an express route out.

Origin

Named after Julius Caesar, though he almost certainly wasn't born this way—his mother survived his birth, which was unheard of for the procedure at that time

Fun Fact

The WHO recommends C-section rates around 10-15%, but some countries and private hospitals have rates exceeding 50%, suggesting medical necessity isn't the only factor.

Source: Obstetrics terminology

Related Terms

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The medical field's euphemism for death rate—how often people die from a particular condition. Statisticians use it to make dying sound academic; everyone else uses it to decide which diseases to fear most.

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Acute

A condition that comes on suddenly and severely, as opposed to chronic, which takes its sweet time ruining your week. Despite sounding like a compliment you would give a puppy, it actually means something medical professionals take very seriously.

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Intermediate

motile

Having the ability to move spontaneously and independently, like bacteria with flagella or that coworker who can't sit still during meetings. In biology, this describes organisms or cells capable of self-propulsion. Ironically, it also refers to people whose mental imagery is all about movement and action, which explains why some folks can't think without pacing.

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fauna

Flora's animal kingdom counterpart—the collective term for all critters in a region. Zoologists and ecologists use this when 'animals' sounds too elementary school. Named after the Roman goddess of animals, it's your go-to word for sounding intellectual about everything from mosquitoes to moose in a given ecosystem.

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Intermediate

pathological

Relating to or caused by disease, whether physical or mental—the medical way of saying something is seriously wrong beyond normal variation. It's the adjective that transforms regular sadness into clinical depression, or normal tissue into cancerous cells. In casual usage, it also describes behaviors so extreme they suggest underlying psychological disorder, like pathological lying.

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radiotherapy

The controlled use of high-energy radiation to kill cancer cells—essentially nuking tumors with precision beams while trying to avoid collateral damage to healthy tissue. It's one of the main weapons in oncology's arsenal, used either solo or tag-teaming with chemotherapy and surgery. The medical equivalent of fighting fire with fire, except the fire is ionizing radiation and the goal is cellular destruction.

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noub

none of your business...